CPR/AED Renewal Notes (PIC NSFW)

I finally renewed my expired CPR/AED certification. Even though this is roughly my 15th-ish time or so sitting through the cheesy videos and repetitive demonstrations of my ability (to pretend) to remove a foreign object from Rescue Anne’s mouth, I actually learned some new things… sort of.

1) The American Red Cross Adult CPR/AED cert used to be good for just one year. Now, it’s good for 2.

2) When you have a young college girl instructing for the first time, it can be incredibly entertaining to ask her questions such as “if a victim has nipple rings, do I need to remove them before placing the AED pads on their chest?” – along with “…and if so, how do I do that?” Another fun question: “How should I modify my hand position for chest compressions if a victim has breast implants that won’t ‘give’ any more than a pair of upside-down Tupperware bowls on a kitchen counter?” (neither of which she was able to answer)

If I can’t give proper chest compressions, should I try the “motorboat” technique instead?

3) even though there’s evidence chest compressions ONLY can be more effective than rescue breaths plus chest compressions, the ARC still teaches the supposedly ‘less effective,’ up close and personal method – though they are in the process of reconsidering that position.

4) Finally, no matter how comfortable you might think it’ll be to “spoon” a limbless mannikin while you’re on the floor watching Red Cross videos, never… I repeat, NEVER do thisĀ  in public.