Lightning can’t even afford to strike twice even if it wanted to.
Gang-related violence is decreasing as drive-by shooters are being forced to walk to their destinations. (Hope they’re tracking their efforts with a pedometer.)
It’s only a matter of time before you can purchase a Renewable Energy Certificate because you carry your own energy supply in the form of excess bodyfat.
Even though other energy sources values continue to fluctuate, a calorie remains stable at 4.184 joules.