Plastic Surgery? Bah!

Recently, I was asked if I knew of of any surgery-free ways to help “the girls” resist the downward tug of gravity.

Combining my years of experience in the fitness industry along with my appreciation of the female form (plus a hint of sarcasm), I ‘discovered’ there are, in fact, 3 highly effective, non-invasive techniques keep those womanly bits right where they belong.

***** ***** *****

Surgery-free boob lift idea #1: stand on your head

Surgery-free boob lift idea #2: search the classified ads or yellow pages for a company that specializes in “support services”.  Or maybe you can get a referral from Janet Jackson.

Janet Jackson’s support team

Surgery-free boob lift idea #3: strategically placed duct tape

With less than 12 hours until my birthday, I suppose it’s entirely possible the day will come in which I’ll grow up and just answer one of these questions with a shrug of the shoulders and a dismissive “I dunno“.



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