I have a long and deeply troubled past.
My childhood hero was known for many things: his part in the Osmond Brothers, the hit single “Puppy Love” and later, Joseph and the Amazing Techicolor Dreamcoat.
Sure, it was many moons ago, but there was a time in my life where I wanted to be just like Donny Osmond – I even used to have a favorite pair of purple socks.
…ain’t nuthin’ stays the same
As the ’70s segued into the ’80s, I traded in my socks for Deep Purple albums, long hair and stone washed, tapered jeans.
It was at this time I discovered Van Halen.
My hero was no longer a teenage variety-show star from the Church of Latter Day Saints, but a hard-rocking front-man with an addiction to hairspray, spandex and women (not necessarily in that order, though).
When I wasn’t tearing “stylish” holes in my clothes or tying bandanas around my still developing limbs, I would jump from the sofa doing my best “Diamond Dave” impression while singing along with “Unchained”.
Maybe I could have chosen better role models. But even after Van Halen, Dave went on to have a (sort-of) successful solo career, a (mildly famous) Las Vegas lounge act and saved countless lives (???) as an EMT in New York City. And don’t forget his (short-lived) career as a talk-radio host. Plus, he’s currently touring with VH on a long awaited reunion tour. So why shouldn’t I continue to find inspiration in this aging (and balding) fellow from Bloomington, Indiana? That’s showbiz, baby!
As for Donny, I hear he’s been asked to host the reincarnation of “Name That Tune” sometime in the next year or so. Even though I can no longer deny wearing those purple socks so long ago, at least I can say my sister has never passed out on live television*.
Whew! It sure feels good to get that off my chest.
Now let’s deadlift…