Circumcision, Necrophiliac Porn and a Cat Fetish


Regular readers of The Cup may have noticed an uncharacteristically long gap between posts.  First-timers are probably wondering what the hell they’ve gotten themselves into.

While it was long before the advent of blogging, perhaps the best piece of advice I ever got was  “If it don’t fit, don’t force it“.

(Get your mind out of the gutter, will ya’?  Many years ago, I had a job as a stationary engineer at the University of Chicago [that story is a post for another day] and the advice was given to me regarding the correct way to repack a gate valve, but I digress…)

Over the past week or so, I’ve been tossing ideas around for your continued reading (and my writing) enjoyment.  Some of ’em were okay at best.  Others met a quick death.  It’s not what I’d call writer’s block, I just wasn’t excited about any of ’em enough to sit down and type ’em out.

Of course, I always welcome ideas and thoughts other than my own, so my friends and clients often come up with some really inspiring concepts – many of which have mutated into the ramblings which lay here before you.

Aware of my ongoing ‘war‘ with Leigh Peele, one friend suggested the title, “I’m Uncircumcised and Sleep With Dead Cats” (At least I’m hoping it was a blog suggestion and not a desperate cry for help.)  Besides, I’m not sure what it has to do with anything fitness-related, so I left that one on the back-burner… ’til today ;-)

As I learned about packing valves in my former life, forcing an issue doesn’t usually give the best results – which explains my self-imposed break from blogging.

Fast forward to today’s take home message in the form of a couple of the more (for lack of a better word) interesting life lessons I’ve learned.

Damn you, Count Dracula – When I was about 4 years old, I watched an episode of Sesame Street when the ‘number of the day’ was 3.  Somehow this number sparked a burning question in my mind, so I was compelled to ask my father if 3 seconds was a long time.

He said, “It depends.”

Being the curious li’l guy that I was, I couldn’t resist following up with a “what d’ya mean?”

Apparently not one for philosophical discussion, I was hoisted off the floor by my ears while ol’ dad slowly counted out, “one…two…three…” and then put me back on my feet.  This time he asked me if 3 seconds is a long time.

My answer: “It depends!”

This is how I came to understand the theory of relativity.

***** ***** *****

Ahhh… NOW I Get It!!! – Once during college football practice, I dislocated all 3 joints of my middle finger.  The athletic trainer quickly straightened things out, taped my discombobulated digit and sent me back into practice.  At the end of the day, I asked him if there was anything I can do to strengthen my finger so this doesn’t become a recurring issue.  His advice: Soak it in cider…

As every wild salmon instinctively knows it must fight the current to return to the place of its birth where nature’s cycle can be made complete, the mind always finds its way back to the gutter…

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3 thoughts on “Circumcision, Necrophiliac Porn and a Cat Fetish

  1. Not what I Expected but at least I know what the heck a gate valve is….

    Nice life saver in the shoe as my old writing prof Joe Geha would have called it.

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