Perhaps the most ironic twist of fate ever, the very downfall of our society might just be the powerful weapon we need to enlist to finally end the war in Iraq.
The solution is suprisingly simple and can be summed up in only two words: Fast food.
Now hear me out. I’ve thought this through for at least 15 minutes and I know it can work.
What if the “Big 3” – Burger King, McDonalds and Taco Bell – would join forces and ‘sponsor’ this war? They could give support to US and allied troops by providing nutrient-void meals to the insurgents and terrorists in the region. (And if they’d like to send a few month’s worth of ‘rations’ to Nancy Pelosi while they’re at it – I’d even be happy to pay for her first week of “value meals”).
Children in America would have a chance to get healthy again as the billions of marketing dollars which are currently spent to lead them down the road of deep-fried bliss would be diverted to a more meaningful cause.
The burden of cost would be shifted to fast food junkies here in the USA – but the good news is you can still get your meal biggie-sized for only a quarter more.
I realize it’s not an instant death for those members of the axis of evil, but by the end of the first month of an all-American diet, they’ll be so run down and lethargic, we could leave just a handful of “peacekeeping” troops in the region to shoot McFish in a barrel.
It’s a “green” solution, too!
When we’re finished in the Mid-East, our fast food sponsors can then ship the used cooking oil to North Korea where Kim Jong Il will surely recycle it to power his shiny new biodiesel generator.
Freedom is never free… but you do get a very nice toy with every kids meal.