Harry Potter and the Steroid Scandal


Performance enhancing drugs (anabolic steroids) are here to stay.  There’s just too much money on the line to risk being average.  That goes for ALL professional sports.

Gary Player made the news when he revealed the shocking trutha golfer has used steroids (gasp!).

A Cure For The Yips
Steroids don’t just make a person ‘strong like bull’.  They give you a much greater ability to recover from the rigors of training and competition. 

Given a possibility of being able to focus on the game without having to worry about all those li’l aches and pains that accumulate through the golf season, of course golfers are going to look for anything that’ll give ’em the edge.  Wouldn’t you?

Life Imitates Art Imitates Life?
Now that golf and pro wrestling have ‘officially’ made the fateful move to become one sport, I imagine it’s only a matter of time before Phil Mickelson kills his family and then commits suicide with a left handed sand wedge [mmmmm….sand-wich] in a steroid induced rage.

J.K. Rowling, Listen Up… Here’s Your Next Book!
If the game of Quidditch ever shows signs of becoming a serious money-maker, you can bet your golden snitch the students at Hogwarts will feel the temptation to use performance enhancing substances.  Hell, Harry Potter already uses a souped-up broomstick to outplay Slytherin.  Couldn’t the “Nimbus 2000” be considered “performance enhancing”?

If Malfoy ever has an opportunity for a multi-million dollar contract and the chance to be on a box of Wheaties, you know he’ll do whatever it takes for a shot at his place in the history books as well as his family’s financial security for generations to come.  I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

The World As I See It
If fans, players, congress, etc really want an even playing field, every athlete should be required to follow the exact same training program, eat the same food, practice the same way, compete in the same environments and get the same amount of sleep.  The reality is that we all have our own ‘best’ ways of doing things and that’s what makes sports performance training so darned interesting.

Scientific research provides us with clues as to how we can make ourselves better.  To deny the use of pharmaceuticals in professional sports is to deny progress as humans.  Ethically, scientists can’t do a ‘proper’ steroid study but pro athletes are voluntary guinea pigs.  And for that, I thank them all.

Besides, at the professional level of any sport, it’s no longer about the game itself, but the entertainment.  And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, either.

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One Comment

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  1. Couldn’t agree more with that last section of your post. It IS entertainment, and pure leveling of the playing field? Where does that exist?

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