"Mighty" Joe’s Greatest Hits?

Before I started the Morning Cup of Joe, I cut my blogging teeth on myspace.

In a blast from the past, here’s one my more memorable posts for your listening pleasure…
(but you’ll have to sing it yourself)

Sing to the tune of the “Beverly Hillbillies” theme

Well let me tell ya’ story ’bout a guy that didn’t squat.
All he did was bench, so a chest is all he’d got.
Then one day as he was walkin’ ‘cross the beach,
Got stuck there in the sand, buried right up to his knees.
Twigs, that is. Skinny legs. No calves.

So his trainin’ partner dug him out ‘n’ said, “you better hit the weights –
we’ll start to squat and deadlift now before it gits too late.”
Then as he was growin’ ‘n’ putting on some size
He finally got acquainted with the muscles of his thighs
The vastus group. Rectus femoris. “Hammies”.

Next summer on the beach, he sure didn’t look the same,
Symmetry and balance ‘came the reason that he trained.
Tho’ he still walked like a primate with arms puffed out at his side,
The deadlifts helped his back get thicker, not to mention strong and wide.
Lats. Rhomboids. Erector spinae.

(Here it is – the big finale you’ve been waiting for! Sing double speed…)

Now I’d like to thank y’all – for list’nen to my song.
I don’t mean to make ya’ll think bench pressin’s always wrong.
I only want to point out that there’s a whole lot more to fitness,
Fortunately for you, my friend, that’s the nature of my biz-ness!
Program design. Private consulting. Freelance writing.

Lyrics by “Mighty” Joe Stankowski


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