You Must Be Joking…


As an occasional listener of talk radio, I certainly wouldn’t want Don Imus to feel like he’s the only one can tell a joke that goes over like a lead balloon, so here’s a few fitness-biz related attempts to get your day started on the right foot.

(Now I just have to hope that this post won’t someday come back to haunt me by preventing me from working with MSNBC or CBS radio)

*** *** ***

I became a personal trainer for two reasons: 1) I had no experience waiting tables and 2) I had no interest in becoming an actor.

What’s the quickest way to teach children to count to 10?
Send them to a weekend personal training certification course

Trainer: You weigh more than 300 pounds! How can you possibly say that you’re a light eater?
Client: The moment it becomes light outside I start eating.

What’s the difference between a personal trainer and a trained monkey?
When the monkey follows you around the gym counting to 10, it only costs you a banana

Why do personal trainers charge so much?
To pay for their spandex and hair gel addictions

What’s the difference between a personal trainer and a cheerleader?
(Sadly, there often isn’t any difference and there is no punch line to this “joke”. If you can’t tell the difference on your own, it might be time to drop your Curves membership or YMCA trainer and find someone who can really help. I recommend you start your search at IDEA’s trainer locator.)

A note to other trainers, coaches & fitness buffs:

If you ever feel offended by my blog in any way, lighten up. If you can’t laugh at yourself, what’s the point of living, ya know? The rest of you with a functioning sense of humor, feel free to reply with additional jokes.

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