Things Are Gonna Start Happenning…

“The new phone books are here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now.”

– Navin R. Johnson (played by Steve Martin) in The Jerk (1979)

The new issue (May ’07) of Men’s Fitness is just starting to hit the newsstands and I’m excited to see my name in print. Not for any specific article, mind you – that’s old hat for me now – but in the fine print at the beginning of the mag (pg 6 for those who are checking up on me). It’s taken a little longer than expected, but I’m now “officially” on the MF advisory board.

Now that it’s official, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before I’m invited to the quarterly advisory board meeting in some tropical locale and hanging out with the natives of a yet to be named island paradise.

But more importantly, I’m looking forward to meeting you – my growing legion of fans – possibly on the MF summer tour (I’m assuming the American Idol contestants will be our opening act?). Or if that gig falls thru, maybe I’ll be able to sign an autograph for you at some Hollywood red-carpet event before I casually stroll inside with Christina Aguilera or Liz Hurley.

OK, I gotta admit – there is no MF summer tour planned (at least that I’m aware of) and it’s probably much more likely that we’ll just cross paths at a bookstore, or Costco, or maybe in the produce section of a grocery store. Chances are, you probably won’t even recognize me as the celebrity that I’ve become and the only person that’ll want my autograph is the girl I just handed my credit card to at the checkout register. But dammit, I’m not only in print – I’m in fine print and quite proud of it. Just let me enjoy my dream, will ya?

I guess what I’m really trying to say is THANK YOU to everyone at MF for making me look good in print for almost 4 years now (yikes!).

See you on the tour bus.


One Comment

  1. Sorry Joe – I was there in the beginning and seen way too much to let you get away with the phrase “making me look good”. While I will admit you have come along way ‘down’ from 300lbs and double whoppers…i don’t see GQ in your future! With that said, it has been a long road since Quads and cracked open skulls and the road was completely uphill. (

    Much kuddos on the current and undoubtedly continued success!


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