I’m always amused when someone tells me they lost X number of pounds. My usual response is “of what?”
Did you get a haircut?
Trim your fingernails?
Are you dehydrated?
Or maybe you had one of those spare organs removed. (Do we really need TWO kidneys? Or maybe you can tell me why we still have gallbladders?)
There are obvioulsy many ways to lose weight. The more important question is “How much FAT did you lose?”
This is the point when I usually get that stumped look (like when you ask a dog a question) from the person who just 2 minutes ago was so enthusiastic about sharing their loss with me.
But without an objective way to measure WHAT is being lost (or gained), numbers on the scale mean nothing.
Now if all you really want to focus on is the number on the bathroom scale, I’ll let you in on a little weight loss secret – it’s a highly effective program that is being developed in Russia. Keep in mind, this will cost you some serious cash, but when your weight matters most, you have to sacrifice somewhere, right?
This program is not a gimmick requiring the exclusion of any major food groups from your diet. It’s safe and extreme weightloss is 100% guaranteed. – you can lose every single nagging pound you have in a matter of hours.
Here’s what you do: for the low price of only 20 million dollars (yikes!), you become a space tourist. In the zero-gravity realm of space, you’ll be so light on your feet, you can quite literally float away (better keep yourself tethered to the mother ship). Unfortunately, your body will still look exactly the same, but you’re the one who said the number on the scale is all that matters…