Slosh Pipe Training Revisited
You may (or may not) remember my July 31st appearance on Grand Rapids Fox 17 where Morning Show host Sarah Brodhead took the slosh-pipe for a ride (or was it the other way around?)
This morning, the pipe returned with a vengeance – this time with its little cousin, the “slosh bell” (the 2′ left-over from a 10′ pipe when I made an 8 footer.) We also discussed a low cost way to help your slosh pipe survive even the coldest of Michigan winters.
Enjoy (and feel free to leave comments about your own slosh-pipe training experience).
Dip and scoop, Sarah.
Dip and scoop.
Hardcore Gym or Health Club?
‘Powerlifting’ and ‘Bodybuilding’ gyms can be a little (or a LOT) intimidating to the ininitiated – especially if you have no interest in becoming a competitive powerlifter or stepping onto the bodybuilding stage.
But even if squatting 800lbs or shaving your entire body, painting it orange and covering your nether regions with little more than an eyepatch don’t appeal to you, there is one VERY good reason you should consider training in a ‘hardcore’ gym over a commercialized health club…
Powerlifters and bodybuilders – although they’ll often go at it like cats & dogs (or more like Mexicans and Puerto Ricans) – are among the most supportive people you’ll ever meet.
Sure, when they compete, everyone wants to win, but ya’ know what? The iron game is about personal achievement, and PL/BB-ers love to see everyone (even their competitors) achieve personal goals and surpass their self-imposed limitations.
I’m pretty sure this has something to do with the fact that neither PL or BB’ing is considered a ‘mainstream’ sport. Winners rarely get more than a trophy or a plaque to hang on their wall.
With the big money of more popular sports out of the picture, PL/BB-ers train to compete for little more than the personal satisfaction that comes with self-improvement. Isn’t THAT the reason you’d want to join a gym in the first place?
Now if you go to a ‘fitness boutique’ or a franchised health club, you’ll often find just the opposite is true. Members are often more interested in the social scene than achieving any meaningful progress.
If social is what you want, stay home and play Farmville or take another survey on Facebook. (Just please stop inviting me to play along with you!)
Mainstream gym-goers frequently engage in subtle (or even flagrant) ‘one-upmanship’ . Ego’s flair. Opportunities to put another member down as weaker, fatter, less successful in life are frequently used to boost one’s own self-image.
Not a very supportive environment, in my opinion.
In a hardcore gym, the only thing that really matters is how committed you are to change.
To learn.
To push yourself to new levels of physical progress.
To say you’re going to accomplish something – and then go ahead and actually DO it.
The weights are all the same & there’s no difference between treadmills. But people in a hardcore gym are more likely to help you, to spot you in a tough exercise, to cheer you along as you work towards a personal best, to challenge you to get back in the game when you blow your diet… while you do the same for them.
Why?
Because it’s the right thing to do.
Beckwith’s Gym (Part 3)
[continued from yesterday]
…one, you can do the ‘country club’ model. Take your operating expenses and simply divide that by the number of powerlifters. I don’t know how many PL-ers are willing to pay $500 a MONTH to train here, but then again, I don’t really understand why golfers sink so much money into smacking a dimpled ball around a park.
Or two, expand your ‘menu’ to include other markets.
Obviously, I was strongly leaning toward the latter.
Out of the first 400-ish postcards I sent out, only a half dozen or so came back as undeliverable (possibly something to do with my chicken-scratch scrawl where a name and address should have gone), nearly a dozen made the plunge to the next step – going to the website and subscribing to an auto responder series. The other 300+ are still on my list of follow-up-to-do, but I’m gonna have to adjust my marketing strategy now that the ‘free gym membership + free personal training’ offer can’t be fulfilled (not at Beckwith’s anyway).
While Beckwith’s DID connect with another gym across town and arrange for their members to ‘transfer’ their memberships over, the fact is, for those living in the more southern range of their local market (towns like Jenison, Wyoming, Grandville, Byron Center or Hudsonville), the commute would now be as much as 30 minutes each way. “Official” backup plan or not, Strength Beyond Fitness (on Plainfield Ave) just wouldn’t meet the needs of every member affected by the sudden closure of Beckwiths.
Hence my promoting of Flex Fitness Center just down 196 in Holland (only half the drive time of Strength Beyond) as an alternate option. As I mentioned in the video back in Part 1, my friend and Flex owner, Shawn Miller, kindly offered to take stranded Beckwith’s members under his wing and honor the remainder of their membership – obviously with the hope they’d continue as paying members down the road – but moreso as an attempt to put a band-aid on the ‘black eye’ that is often cast when the public gets the (perceived or real) shaft from some branch of the fitness-industry-at-large.
To further expand on my video from Part 1, here’s Shawn personally extending his hand to any who may have been left without a place to pump iron…
[to be continued...?]
Beckwith’s Gym (Part 2)
[...continued from yesterday's post]
“Money?” I laughed. “That’s easy. We SELL program design”
He gave me that puzzled look you get from a dog when you ask it a question.
Long story short (whew!), my plan was to sell my program design services, include a gym membership and personal training (which I would pay for out of my program design fee) and EVERYBODY wins.
I often refer to this as my “toy-in-the-cereal-box-approach” (more on that some other day).
The problem was, there are only 20 or so competitive powerlifters in the area – and all of ‘em were already training at Beckwith’s.
I realized time was limited as this ship was already sinking and I’d have my work cut out for me. So I went for the obvious market: women.
Keep in mind, Beckwith’s build their reputation (since 1984) on powerlifting. The kind of sport many people (especially women) find intimidating.
So I purchased a list of women who fit a certain demographic and created a simple postcard to test the waters and see who might be interested in training in such an environment. I wrote the copy, but it was meant to appear as if it was coming directly from the gym. The postcard read something like this…
How Else Can We Say, ‘We’re Sorry’?
We understand you might find a traditional gym environment a little harsh. Maybe even a tad bit intimidating. Okay… maybe a LOT intimidating. And we realize it’s our fault. We’re guys. What do we really know about anything?
But we’ve been listening and you’ve been right all along. We’ve been selfish jerks and we’re sorry. Now we’re just hoping you’ll give us a chance to show you how much we want to change.
This isn’t a bouquet of flowers, but we do have a FREE Gym Membership and Personal Training offer we’d love to tell you about – if you’ll just give us a chance to start over…
All we’re asking is that you visit BeckwithsGym.com/freeoffer* to see how we’re trying to make things right.
Please check it out… We really do want to change.
Love always,
Beckwith’s GymP.S. Please say you’ll meet us half way… BeckwithsGym.com/freeoffer*
[* now that the gym is closed, this page is no longer active]
Again, the gym owners thought I was nuts. “…but this is a hardcore gym. This kind of thing will make us look… mainstream.” (gasp!)
I challenged ‘em with the question: What is McDonalds known for? (Ironic choice, I know – considering what I do and all…)
“Hamburgers?”
Exactly. But can’t you also walk into a McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich? Yogurt? SALAD?! Even with those options on the menu, they’ll never be able to ‘shake’ their image as a burger joint. Same with a gym like Beckwith’s. You’ll ALWAYS be a hardcore temple of the iron.
But as far as I can see, you have exactly TWO options…
[to be continued...]
What Happened to Beckwith’s Gym? – Part 1
Grand Rapids area fitness and powerlifting mecca is no more
Maybe it’s just the natural cycle of life, but sometimes good gyms go out of business. It was a real shame to find out yesterday morning that the weekend rumors about Beckwith’s Gym in Grandville, Michigan were true.
As I pulled into the parking lot at 3040 28th Street SW yesterday morning to meet with one of my personal training clients, I quickly noticed the lights were off and the interior looked eerily vacant for the normally active time of 11am.
Having been around the fit-biz block a few times, I immediately realized that Beckwith’s Gym’s time has come (and mysteriously gone sometime over the weekend).
I only discovered the gym a few months earlier. Always on the lookout for resources that I can direct clients, readers, friends and fans to, I heard talk of this dinosaur-style gym since moving to Grand Rapids a year earlier.
Yet every time I set out in search of the mythical Beckwith’s, I always wound up at their previous location (with an entrance in the back of a retired bowling alley) that always had a “closed” sign on the door. I just assumed it was because it was such an exclusive, powerlifting-niche club, they only had a handful of dedicated members who’d meet there at specific times. I wanted to know the secret handshake to get in – so I checked back every couple of months.
It was finally mid-summer before I thought to track ‘em down via the internet (this may come as a surprise to some of you younguns, but even though I consider myself a bit of a tech-geek, we old-timers sometimes take a bit longer to remember that google knows EVERYTHING).
I emailed one of their trainers who quickly replied that they moved about 3 miles west earlier in the year and they have typical operating hours. Finally – all I had to do was make the 20 minute drive to Grandville and I’d see what all the talk was about.
When I walked in I was greeted by “Pops” – the 73 year old majority owner and one heck of a deadlifter, too! We got to talking and I quickly understood that they were finding their new location (and the low-ball priced area competitors) to be forces they weren’t quite equipped to handle.
Membership at gyms like Beckwith’s are usually in the $40/month range but they found themselves competing against the franchised outfits with healthy marketing budgets and the ability to undercut the “real” gyms with membership as low as $12/month.
“Pops” knee-jerk response in order to stay competitive was to offer an annual membership for just $180 – with NO ‘initiation fee’ and no contractual obligation to renew.
So I asked him what he would offer when the franchises went down to $10/month… Or $5.
Being the lowest price option is rarely the best way to be profitable, but he needed to get people in the door to even have a chance to sell ‘em on the Beckwith’s ideal of training.
Because he was so set on competing strictly on PRICE, I suggested he take the low-ball approach to the max and give membership away for FREE. He looked at me like I just escaped the loonie-bin.
It was at this point I explained what I do. Not wanting him to be the only one ‘risking’ anything by giving away membership to his gym, I even offered to throw in my personal training services for free.
“But how do we make any MONEY?” he understandably asked.
[to be continued...]
Have you purchased a Beckwith’s Gym membership and have nowhere to train? Be sure to watch the following short video…
More From The West Michigan Bodybuilding Scene…
My friend Shawn Miller has a gym…make that THE gym in Holland, Michigan. FLEX Fitness Center is known locally as the place to work out when you’re serious about change. A couple of his gym members put their efforts on display at the 2009 NPC Western Michigan Bodybuilding, Fitness, Figure & Bikini Championships this past weekend – and I was there capturing video of their evening posing routines…
Dave Kaletka
Greg Castro
…and of course, I somehow happened to record some random bikini competitors (none from FLEX that I’m aware of, but I told you yesterday some bikini comp footage was on its way):
BTW, I’ve been working on a couple ‘top secret’ projects with Shawn/FLEX – the kinds of things that are only being announced through the gym and on their Facebook Fan Page. If you want to find out what we have up our heavily muscles sleeves, you need to become a “fan”.
Mr. Olympia 2009 Jay Cutler
Something about the overwhelming scent of Pro Tan (not to mention the equally overwhelming sight of big guys in small posing trunks) usually prevents me from going out of my way to check out a bodybuilding show, but this weekend, the 2009 Western Michigan Bodybuilding, Fitness, Figure & Bikini Championships rolled through town so I figr’d what the heck…
I’ll be posting some (bikini contest) vids at my YouTube channel (you DO subscribe, don’t you?), but for now, you’ll have to settle for this footage of 2009 Mr. Olympia, Jay Cutler, guest posing just 3 weeks after reclaiming his title. He really knows how to work the crowd – be sure to watch what he does at about the 3 minute mark…
Who Are You? (alt. title: “I’m Baaa-aaack”)
Jeezh! Time flies, huh? It’s been awhile since my last post. Over a month, in fact. No, not a case of blogger’s-block or anything life threatening (other than a near fall from the wrong end of a tall ladder, but that’s another story).
I’ve just been caught up in biz, travels, etc. I guess what they say is true: Life happens – even to the best of us.
(I don’t know if ‘they’ really ever said that… as far as I’m aware, I just made it up.)
Anyway, for the past several weeks, I thought about doing some ‘best of the cup’ posts, but that just seemed cheap and tacky. Not to say that I’m NOT cheap and tacky, but if you want to see any of my old posts (you know you do), it’s easy enough to navigate your way around this blog.
But there is something I want to know about my regular readers… Are you a ‘fitness enthusiast’? Somehow tied into the fitness industry? Or just a misguided soul who gets an inexplicable sense of enjoyment from reading my words on paper…uhm… I mean a computer monitor?
Oh, and even though I haven’t been doing a whole lotta blogging, per se, I have been active in other “social media”: adding vids to my youtube channel, facebooking, tweeting, linked in-ing and the like.
So if you’ve suffered through the last month wondering when you’d get your next Joe-fix, have no fear my little friend. In the immortal words of ZZ Top, “I’m bad. I’m nationwide.” Any way you look, I’ll be there. (well except for here. But you know what I mean…)
US:British Fitness Equivalents
I often make the joke that I went into a bookstore while I lived in England and picked up a ‘best of British cooking’ book only to open the cover and find there were no pages inside. As uninspiring as the gastronomic experience of my 3 and a half years in the UK may have been, I wouldn’t trade the overall experience for the world.
While I didn’t return to the US in 2001 with anything close to the James Bond accent I was hoping to pick up (“I like my protein shakes blended, not shaken…”), I did come back with the ability to drive a stick shift with my left hand on the wrong side of the road.
Even though we all speak the same language, there were some interesting differences I learned in the gyms of England – and I trained at quite a few of ‘em.
Converting kilos to pounds wasn’t a big deal, thanks to my prior powerlifting experience, but it took me awhile to accept the fact that the all-American exercise we knew since birth as a push-up, my British clients called a press-up.
Lying Triceps Extensions… I’ve always known ‘em as “Skull-crushers”. In England, they call ‘em as nose-breakers.
Gym shoes are known as trainers and steroids are referred to as “gear”.
Even common anatomical terms were pronounced differently enough to make me say “HUH?!” more than once.
Capillaries -
USA: KAHP-ul-larrys
UK: kuh-PILL-er-ees
Skeletal system -
USA: SKELL-it-ull
UK: skuh-LEE-tull
Of course, I also came away with an appreciation for private insurance over the government mis-managed option, but at least I won’t ever have to worry about that happening here, will I?
Poll: Fitness Goals
Following up on yesterday’s poll, I have my own sneaky suspicions (as usual), but here’s one more for ya’…
Why Do You Join A Gym?
I’ve been having a discussion with a gym owner I recently met and he’s convinced people choose his gym over others for a reason I strongly disagree with.
We’ve started polling new members and the results are leaning heavily in my favor
(note to self [as if I'd ever forget]: I am always right).
How ’bout you? Why do YOU join a gym?
Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.
Many years ago, when I was still trying to figure out which way I should go with this whole “eat right and exercise” thing I fell into, my friend Jim suggested I hire his business coach for my own biz.
Her name was (and presumably still is) Debbie Happy Cohen. And yes, that’s her real middle name.
Working with Coach Debbie turned out to be one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. I discovered a new level of creativity (not that you can tell from this blog) and really developed my professional identity by implementing the strategies she introduced me to.
It’s been several years since I ran the following ‘interview’ I did with her – it was previously only available to my clients and subscribers of my first website – but when I was digging through my archives a few days ago, I figured you, my adoring legion of fans (I think there are 8 of you now), would enjoy this blast from the past. The information is every bit as valuable today. Enjoy. Share it with others.
…And breathe.
-JS-
***** ***** *****
JoeS: Can you explain why people actually limit their own success? – Whether it’s fitness, business, personal life or anything else.
Debbie Happy Cohen: We’ve lived in a world where for centuries and millennia, our goal was to survive, and we had a strict order of class in terms of what role we were supposed to play (male-female, serf-lord, king-subject). We also had to physically protect ourselves from the elements of nature without the safety we have today.
In the last century alone, we have gone from being an industrial society to an informational and service-oriented one… So what in the heck does all this mean to YOU?
It’s only in recent times that we’re thinking about PERSONAL HAPPINESS, satisfaction, feeling loved. Choosing positive feelings was a foreign thought to many of our ancestors because they were busy surviving.
So we are on the leading edge of FEELING GOOD AND GREAT.
BUT - our societal ”thermostat” setting for feeling good is not set very high. We have peak moments, like winning at the Olympics (or watching someone win) but we still spend most of our time watching the news and other negative drama. WE GET USED TO FEELING EITHER BAD OR MEDIOCRE.
JS: But why is it so easy to become content with mediocrity?
DHC: BECAUSE IT FEELS SAFE. Because when we stretch out of that comfort zone, it feels UNCOMFORTABLE and most people run back to the safety of mediocre feelings.
For example, I have a friend who is a best-selling author of a parenting book, and she shared a story about receiving a call one day from a majorly hot and hard-to-get publisher. Though she was elated, she was also extremely uncomfortable feeling so good. So what did she do? She ran upstairs immediately after the call and grabbed a piece of cheap chocolate, which she knows she is allergic to. She effectively and immediately brought herself down instead of letting herself enjoy the feeling of pure satisfaction and bliss of receiving that call.
JS: Where exactly do these beliefs come from?
DHC: We hold these beliefs in our memory storehouse, like a baby blankey.
JS: Can they be changed?
DHC: Absolutely. But it takes courage and often outside support. Like your newsletter…or a live coach.
I think it’s interesting that EVERY Olympian – the beginners as well as the multi-gold medalists – EVERY one of them has a coach! I think that one of the purposes of that person is to hold a vision for a higher possibility, because it’s often easier to do it for someone else than it is for ourselves.
One exercise that you can do on your own (that was shared with me by my author friend and credited to Gay Hendricks :-)) is to change the HIGH-LOW pattern to PEAK-REST. For example, have you ever said to yourself when things were going really well, “I wonder when the other shoe will drop,” or ”I wonder how long I’m going to actually stick to this diet” when you just lost a huge amount of weight? Those are ways people bring themselves DOWN when they’re HIGH, in order to get back to NORMAL.
TO RAISE NORMAL TO HIGH, you want to get comfortable with PEAK STATES.
JS: So how can you do this?
DHC: DEEP BREATHING. When a person is afraid or uncomfortable, their breathing is shallow, and they block good feelings. When a person is comfortable and feeling happy, they laugh and breathe deeply. During your next PEAK moment, take a breather, rest for a few minutes or a couple of hours. Laugh. Take it in.
I have an audio CD called Sensualization: Exceeding your Upper Limits and Getting Comfortable with PEAK LIVING. In it, you’re guided to experience yourself in a moment of satisfaction and well being. When you get there, you notice what fear comes up, and you breathe through it until you feel comfortable. It’s amazing because it’s beyond the limited visualization techniques that so many of us use. It’s leading edge and it works because you use all of your senses and your mind really believes you are there, so when the time comes and the success really happens, you don’t resist it (at least not as much as before!)
It reminds me of a story of a guy who was in the back room before an event where he was to be receiving an award. Someone “caught him” talking to himself and shaking hands with an invisible partner, saying “Thank you. Thank you very much.” When asked what in the world he was doing, he replied, “I’m getting used to the idea of people congratulating me, so that when they do, I am able to really accept it.”
JS: How often should we do this?
DHC: Many people have benefited from doing this breathing technique for 15 minutes a day for 30 days. What you do is imagine a future PEAK moment with all of your senses, then notice when you feel any kind of discomfort or fear. And then BREATHE DEEPLY until it passes.
JS: So if I do this simple exercise for only 15 minutes a day for a month, what can I expect to experience?
DHC: You’ll notice it’s much easier to take in new experiences and successes when you do this regularly. This, of course, will allow you to notice newer and better opportunities, and you’ll be more likely to grab them. You’ll spend more time feeling good and making better choices. You’ll enjoy your life more and experience more peak moments.
JS: I really enjoyed reading (and re-reading) your book Reach Your Stars! Who do you think could benefit most from reading it?
DHC: Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed the book. Its message is for any person who cares about their personal or professional growth, especially if they are exploring new options in their lives, or developing the confidence to take new action.
JS: The changes I’ve experienced by simply learning to accept higher levels of success as ‘okay’ (and even downright acceptable!) have me convinced there’s much more to it than simply “positive self talk”. How can I learn even more about this technique and others that we’ve used during my own coaching sessions with you?
DHC: Here are two things you can do right now:
1. You can visit the MastermindU archives and listen to a live recording of a lecture I gave, called “Real Pearls, Cheap Chocolate and Stone Soup” which includes a Sensualization audio experience.
2. Register for the MastermindU course called “Break Through Internal Barriers”. Just visit MastermindU.com and click on Courses. When you sign up for the course online, you will get a FREE copy of Reach Your Stars!
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
…now exhale.
Slosh Pipe for Core Training
This morning, I made another appearance on Grand Rapids’ Fox 17 Morning Show to discuss a fun li’l training tool known as the slosh pipe (a HUGE thank you to Sarah for leading into the segment with Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper” and keeping my ‘guilty pleasure’ on the downlow).
Fox 17 Morning Show host Sarah Brodhead wrestles with the slosh pipe
Since it’s hard to squeeze everything I wanted to say into a 3-5 minute segment, here’s some extra notes to help you get started with slosh pipe training…
WHAT: The “Slosh Pipe” (also known in some circles as ‘the pillar of pain’), an 8′ to 10′ length of (schedule 40) PVC pipe, 4″ or 6″ in diameter; capped at one end, threaded ‘cleanout’ fitting at the other; filled 1/3 to 1/2 with water or RV antifreeze if you live in a cold climate (which Michigan will certainly qualify as in just a few more months)
WHY: Allows for ‘core’ training in an upright and ‘reactive’ environment. Low cost – about $25. Easy to make. Fun (assuming you enjoy pain!). Portable.
WHO: Anyone tired of endless, boring situps/crunches; competitive athletes; thrill-seekers and the exercise-curious.
HOW: Start by simply holding the slosh pipe steady in a horizontal position (the pipe should be horizontal, not you) Total weight is only 30-50lbs or so, but when the liquid is flying back and forth over an 8-10′ long line of travel, it’s like riding a mechanical bull. You’ll use muscles you didn’t know you had to resist and control the slosh pipe.
Once you’re comfortable with the basic hold, try walking, lunging, pressing, etc while working to maintain its horizontal position.
IMPORTANT/ACHTUNG/WARNING/PELIGRO:
This should be fairly obvious, but even though we demonstrated this training implement surrounded by expensive HD cameras, TV monitors, etc, because of the unpredictable nature of this training tool (and your response to its shifting mass), YOU SHOULD ONLY USE A SLOSH PIPE WHERE THERE IS ADEQUATE OPEN SPACE (read: outdoors, far away from windows, cars & people oblivious to their surroundings).
WHAT:
The “Slosh Pipe”: An 8′ to 10′ length of (schedule 40) PVC pipe, 4″ or 6″ in diameter; capped at one end, threaded ‘cleanout’ fitting at the other; filled 1/3 to 1/2 w/water (or RV antifreeze – this IS Michigan, after
all)
WHY:
Allows for ‘core’ training in an upright and ‘reactive’ environment Low cost – about $20 Easy to make Fun (assuming you enjoy pain!) Portable
WHO:
Anyone tired of endless, boring situps/crunches, competitive athletes, thrill-seekers and the exercise-curious.
HOW:
Start by simply holding the slosh pipe steady in a horizontal position (the pipe should be horizontal, not you) Total weight is only 30-50lbs or so, but when the liquid is flying back and forth over an 8-10′ long line of travel, it’s like riding a mechanical bull. You’ll use muscles you didn’t know you had to resist and control the slosh pipe (also known in some circles as ‘the pillar of pain’)
Once you’re comfortable with the basic hold, try walking, lunging, pressing, etc while working to maintain its horizontal position.
IMPORTANT/ACHTUNG/WARNING/PELIGRO:
because of the unpredictable nature of this training tool (and your response to its shifting mass), YOU WILL NEED PLENTY OF OPEN SPACE (read:
outdoors,
far away from windows, cars & people oblivious to their surroundings)
Golfers, Listen Up!
Last week, I met with my friend and PGA golf instructor, Scott Seifferlein, who gave me a brief overview of an awesome tool he uses in his business: the K-vest.
Comprised of military-grade gyroscopes and hi-tech software, the K-vest transmits wirelessly to a nearby laptop where Scott (and his clients) can get immediate and measurable feedback on all aspects of the golf swing. (I do loves me some tech-gadgets!)
Here’s a short video “tour” of the K-vest in action at the Highlands Golf Academy in NW Grand Rapids.
(Don’t forget to visit Scott’s site, GrandRapidsGolfLesson.com, to claim over $300 worth of golf-goodies absolutely free!)
The Solution To Childhood Obesity: Shame?
Ya’ know, the answer seems so obvious after watching this ‘news’ from The Onion.
Glutes Like Oxen Heads
You know the ones. Those fully formed, spherical mass o’ muscles you see behind powerlifters, sprinters and female fitness models (mmmmm, fitness models).
Their butts defy gravity while they sit high up on their perch as if they somehow KNOW they’re better than all the other glutes.
…And they are.
So why is it that some butt-iss-ee-moes (as “Body by” Jake Steinfeld refers to ‘em) hang, sag, droop and flop around in the breeze?
I’m glad you assed. (not a typo, I just couldn’t resist)
When muscles aren’t challenged, they effectively ‘shut down’.
Forget to contract.
Lie dormant.
The contractile fibers are still there, but once they’re off, they’re off – until you turn ‘em back on.
As good as squats, lunges, running up hill and numerous other exercises can be, when a muscle can’t do its job, other muscles are called into play to create the movement. In the case of ‘gluteal amnesia’ (that’s an Alwyn Cosgrove-ism if there ever was one), it’s often the hamstrings which become dominant (and overused… and injured) while your butt just sits there.
Want to find out if your glutes are taking a nap? Try lying face up on the floor and lift your hips into a “bridge” position with your feet flat, knees bent.
Do it.
Right now.
Did your hamstrings cramp up on you? They shouldn’t. If they did, they’re working too hard. Your glutes should be the main players in this simple exercise.
Even if you consider yourself “old” and aren’t all that concerned with the look, shape or feel of your posterior, you be wise to consider the function (or lack thereof) of these all important muscles you’re sitting on right now.
If you really want to see me make an ass of myself, be sure to watch Grand Rapids Fox 17 this Friday morning (around 8.40am) where I’ll be taking Smita Kalokhe through as many variations of glute re-awakening exercises as we can squeeze into a 4 minute segment.
Can’t catch it because you’re not in the Grand Rapids area? I got you covered. Check back in after the show and I’ll post a link to the video plus some additional strategies to give you some shake to go with those fries. ;-)
What does that MEAN?
Don’t ever question Bruce Dickinson.
Fill In the _______
“My favorite way to get ready for a workout is _______________”
You take it from here. Don’t be shy.
Leave comments below.
Michelle Obama: Fox-y lady?
In case you missed yesterday’s preview video, this morning I made another appearance on Grand Rapids’s Fox 17 Morning Show to take Sarah Brodhead through 3 exercises that’ll help you develop arms even Michelle Obama would be proud of.
Anyway, here’s a link to the segment as you’d see it on TV (nothing but Hi-Def news broadcasts at Fox… Brian, you know what I’m talking about ;-) ).
[7.13.09 UPDATE: the link above is no longer accurate as wxmi.com is now fox17online.com. Will post new link if/when it becomes available]
And because you know how hard I work to keep my legion of adoring fans (all 5 of you) entertained, here’s some behind the scenes footage I put together with my Flip Cam. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it…
“I had a very unattractive transvestite throw softballs at me for half an hour…”
-Tracy “barefoot’n” Forner
“I’ll flash west Michigan” – Sarah “the animal cracker” Brodhead
Behind The Scenes at Fox17 (Grand Rapids, MI)
Tune in to the Fox17 Morning Show tomorrow – June 19th – and watch me take host Sarah Brodhead through a “Michelle Obama Arms” workout.
If you can’t stop in, honk as you go by (or watch it online at WXMI.com)
Life Lessons From Powerlifting #3
Lesson #3: Surround yourself with people who have already accomplished what you want to do.
While I never broke any records on the lifting platform, I went from a sloppy 400lb squatter as a young 20-something while doing things on my own to a respectable 700# lifter in my mid-20s by training with guys who squatted as much as 300 pounds MORE than me (and at a lighter bodyweight, I should add) who’ve already ‘been there, done that’.
Experience is the best teacher.
(now that I’m creeping ever closer to 40, I’m still keep this lesson in mind every single day!)
Life Lessons From Powerlifting #2
Lesson #2: Accept it, you’re never going to please everybody.
Give your very best on every attempt. There will be red lights in life, but 2 white lights out of 3 counts as just as good of a lift.
Life Lessons From Powerlifting #1
Back in the day when I trained alongside Ed Coan at Quads Gym on Chicago’s south side, I learned many a lesson that still apply to many aspects of my life today.
Lesson #1: Stay focused and do what you say you’re going to do.
If your training schedule calls for you to lift a weight for X number of reps, it doesn’t matter if you vomit, bleed or ‘hershey squirt‘ in the middle of your set – you’ll still be respected if you complete your set. You can always clean up your mess later.
Hair Removal: Where Does It End?
I used to give one of my ol’ buddies a hard time when his mom would Nair his back in high school.
Perhaps it’s what they call poetic justice, but I’ve grown progressively hirstute over the years.
Since finally breaking down and going to the table for my first back waxing experience last year, I’ve had to face tough questions. Namely, where do you STOP?
Unlike the naturally occurring tree line near the top of mountains, I think it looks pretty darned ridiculous to go from a woolly forest of body fur to the alpine tundra of bare skin.
No transition zone. No feathering/fading from one area to the next. Just a sharp line where the skin stops and hair starts.
To spite the fact that I have, in fact, become “one of those guys”, I’ve actually toyed with the idea of doing a full-body mohawk – one continuous loop of pelage from top to bottom. I seriously doubt I’ll ever go down that road, but it certainly paints an amusing picture in my mind.
At least now that I’ve become a regular at a local de-hairing establishment, it seems the hair that does grow back really is thinner and lighter that it used to be. And using balls of sugar, water and who-knows-what-else (instead of traditional wax), they’re able to give me a more natural looking ‘fade’ from back to shoulder.
If you want more information on the history of hair removal (and you know you do), you’re gonna love this.
While we’re on the subject of hair, is it just me, or have you ever noticed the correlation between bald guys and convertibles? On those rare occasions I see a guy with a full head of hair driving in the open air, I always snicker and think, “enjoy your hair while you got it, chump!” I plan on keeping my (head) hair as long as I can - I won’t even open the sunroof.
"Mighty" Joe Stankowski
