Random Facts about Joe Stankowski – Part I
I make it a habit to politely ignore productivity-killing MySpace surveys, Facebook ‘app’ invites and email chain letters (“send this post to 7 people and you’ll have the best workout of your life today”), but somehow found myself amused enough to to respond to several requests for blog/facebook ‘tag’.
The rules are always a little different, so I’ve taken it upon myself to do this one MY way.
And I’m only gonna do this ONE time, got it?
1) I can’t donate blood in the US because I lived in the UK during the mad cow outbreak.
2) I’m neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I’m a realist. It’s half a glass.
3) Beer chugging skill: I’ve been clocked at under 3 seconds for a full pint.
4) I understand the need for “personality” in marketing, but I disagree with those who use their families, especially detailed stories and photos of their children, to show that they’re ‘real’.
5) Iron Maiden fan/collector. Have the original “Soundhouse Tapes“.
6) My first ‘real job’ after leaving college early had me boiling water professionally. I worked at the UofChicago steam plant for 5 years. Don’t miss it one bit.
7) I’ve always wanted to do one of those mid-winter ‘polar bear plunge’ events, but know I’d have a heart attack and/or drown.
8) I have never lifted a kettlebell. Nor do I care to.
(update: I bought a kettlebell in 2010 and yes, I occasionally use it. But it’ll still never be as good, IMO, as a heavy set of deadlifts)
9) Yes, I ‘tweet‘. Is that so wrong?
10) I never sign checks. I autograph them.
11) I am not the dancing type. Far from it, in fact. Yet when I saw ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo‘ in 1984, I KNEW I was destined to become a professional break dancer.
12) I’m frequently told I have a good voice for radio. Or was that “face”? Either way, I always welcome the opportunity to audition for voice acting gigs.
Don’t lie… You’re dying to know more, aren’t you?
The other half of my randomly useless info can be found on my Facebook page.
All I Ask Is That You Read The BOLD RED Print
Name: Ed XxXxxxxx
Email: xxxxcaptain@verizon.net
Website: [withheld out of courtesy]
I’m sorry to be rude, but is Joe drunk this morning or is he on a sugar/caffine (sic) high from that Starbucks drink? He needs to be reined in a bit.
Time: Tuesday February 10, 2009 at 7:44 am
IP Address: xx.2xx.68.66
***** ***** *****
Thanks for your email, Ed.
You are correct in that Joe has a bit of a drinking problem. We all knew it but were hoping it didn’t come across on camera the same way it does here in the studio. Since it’s obviously becoming a real problem, we plan to submit your email along with several others to the top level of management in hopes of getting this idiot fired once and for all. Of course, this may mean we’ll need to subpoena you as a witness against Joe, especially if he appeals to the FCC and/or the ACLU (which we assume he will).
Will be in touch soon.
Oh, by the way, be sure to revisit Joe’s contact page. This time, please pay particularly close attention to the BOLD RED PRINT.
Thanks again.
…Not Just A River In Egypt
If you ever find yourself putting on a few pounds, don’t even think of increasing your training intensity or saying no to that 2nd pint of ice-cream. It’s so much easier to justify your weight gain with these handy-dandy, pre-packaged excuses.
“I need the extra insulation to save on my heating bills”
“I’m preparing for a global famine”
“I’m in a “bulking” cycle”
“That’s not fat, that’s my aura”
“I enjoy swimming and could use some extra buoyancy”
Have anything to add?
"Mighty" Joe Stankowski
