Zero fat
Zero carbs
Zero calories
Introducing the Duct Tape Diet…
Instructions:
- Remove 1-2 strips of ’space age dieting material’ (approximately 4-6″ in length)
- Place across mouth. Press firmly to ensure no gaps.
- Go exercise
Disclaimer:
This product is not intended to replace proper medical advice. Before starting any diet or exercise plan, check with your doctor.
To order, pay just $49.95 and I’ll throw in a second roll absolutely FREE.
PLUS, FREE SHIPPING WORLD WIDE.
Think there’s a real market for my ’solution’ to obesity? Potential investors can contact me through this site.
3. Go exercise??
Are you kidding me? That’ll never work!! Sweat will loosen the adhesive. It’d only work if I don’t sweat.
errrm, well, OK, maybe you’re right. Does it come with a sweatshirt? Throw in one of the electric ab workout contraptions and I’ll send you my check.
Haha….. good stuff bro!! You should talk to Sean about doing a no bullshit humor column in MF - have ya’ll talked about that?
That is so funny! Unfortunately, many people go on starvation diets and lose muscle, bone mass and suffer malnutrition as well as a depleted immune system. When they are done (or cannot stand it anymore) they eventually gain all that weight back in the form of fat and are worse off than when they began.
You know what is even funnier? Many doctors give out dumb advice like this too. They know a lot about drugs but they know so little about nutrition. It makes sense though. If their patients get fat and sick, they visit the doctor more often and he makes more money off of writing them multiple prescriptions for drugs.
You On A Diet . . . Again
Hate to break it to you, but we’ve had The Duct Tape Diet book on the market for over four years! Instead of taping your mouth, you tape up all your diet villains — chips, cheetos, etc. If you hear them calling out to you, the duct tape is like a stop sign. It’s also tough to get through. Even though it’s full of fun, the book is no joke. There’s all kinds of information to help you stay on the diet wagon. It’s still available at Drivetime Publishing, P.O. Box 80246, Rochester, MI 48308. $14.95 and we pay shipping and handling. Buy two, and the third is free. Oxygen Magazine reviewed the book and said: “This book is hilarious…if nothing else, you’ll lose weight laughing.”