Posted in Humor, tagged diet, duct tape, Humor on April 30, 2008 | 4 Comments »
Zero fat
Zero carbs
Zero calories
Introducing the Duct Tape Diet…
Instructions:
Remove 1-2 strips of ’space age dieting material’ (approximately 4-6″ in length)
Place across mouth. Press firmly to ensure no gaps.
Go exercise
Disclaimer:
This product is not intended to replace proper medical advice. Before starting any diet or exercise plan, check with your doctor.
To order, pay just $49.95 and I’ll throw [...]
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Everybody who’s ever lifted a weight surely knows who Bill Hartman is.
You mean the guy from Saturday Night Live and the Simpsons?
I thought his wife killed him… Man, that guy was hilarious!
No, no, no… that was PHIL Hartman.
But Indianapolis-based Bill Hartman is quite the funny man, too, as you’re about to find out. [...]
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Fitness equipment distributors train their sales force to sell their latest configuration of plastic, aluminum, iron and computer circuitry as “cutting edge” or “state of the art”.
As such, it’s not uncommon for the typical gym or private training studio to start out with an investment of at least $100,000 in the latest & greatest equipment.
Now [...]
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Real email. Real response (slightly edited for readability).
I realize it’s not my usual sarcasm-laced, trying-too-hard-to-be-funny post, but you might find it useful.
***** ***** *****
I’m frustrated with my weight but love to work out. I have four kids and I can’t go to a gym but I have a Precor elliptical machine and weights and [...]
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Posted in interview, tagged bodybuilding, carter schoffer, exercise, james lipton, john berardi, nutrition, performance, personal trainer, powerlifting on April 9, 2008 | 1 Comment »
For the initiated, whenever anyone is kind enough to accept my invitation to be featured in a PROfile, I always send ‘em the same three deep-thought provoking questions (inspired in no small part by James Lipton’s interview style).
Depending on how much detail they go into with their replies, I usually take a bit o’ time [...]
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The year was 1989
The location: Hammond High School; NW Indiana
The life-changing event: Sports Illustrated’s cover story on offensive tackle, Tony Mandarich. His intensity (on the football field, in the weight room and in self-promotion) was a huge inspiration to me while I was going through the college football recruitment process.
I’ve never really been one [...]
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Finding inspiration at the politically-incorrect (but oh, so funny) blog, StuffWhitePeopleLike, I’m gonna go out on a socially insensitive limb and take a dig at the stereotypical “gravitationally significant” population of America (and maybe I can finally get my own book deal w/a $300k advance, too).
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
STUFF FAT PEOPLE LIKE
Elastic - Snug [...]
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Anyone who’s ever seen my 1994 powerlifting footage will immediately understand why I like the way this guy swings a racket…
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