Posted in Humor, tagged bleu cheese, brussels sprout, caviar, e-coli, food slogan on February 28, 2008 | No Comments »
So I found this Food Slogan site and thought, “Hey, I can do that!”
Bleu Cheese: Yes, It’s Mold. Now Get Over It.
(Organically Produced Sugar) You May Get Fat, But At Least You’re “All Natural”
Burgers Make The World Go ’round
Go Ahead! It’s Only Cheesecake
e-Coli Flavored Spinach: That Which Doesn’t Kill you…
Trans-fat, Mmmmmm
Eat Meat Before It Eats [...]
Posted in Joe, Motivation, Serious-talk, tagged personal trainer, snickers, workout routine on February 25, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Think about what you want to accomplish. More importantly, think about why.
Still even more importantly, be specific… VERY specific about why the time is NOW. You can start a training program any time. What’s so special about today?
Above all, don’t ever tell a trainer, “I just want to get in shape”. That means absolutely nothing.
What [...]
Posted in Humor, tagged apple on February 24, 2008 | No Comments »
Posted in Tasteless, tagged husky, big-boned, overweight, more-of-me-to-love, hermaphrodite on February 22, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Being the always considerate, caring, warm-hearted (and only occasionally sarcastic) person that I am, I figured it would be helpful to you, my dear, insensitive readers - if I provided a brief lesson on ways to call someone a “lard-ass” without the risk of overstepping bounds of common decency.
Lesson one: Use specific anatomical/physiological terms instead of offensive slang
Example: “look [...]
Posted in Humor, tagged balco, bodybuilding, ned flanders, proactiv, Spandex on February 15, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I realize the holiday season is long gone, but in the words of my always-enthusiastic neighbor, “every day is a holiday.”
(no, I do not live next to Ned Flanders)
Here’s a baker’s-dozen gift ideas for the bodybuilder in your life.
Mirrors
Anything made from spandex
Canned tuna
Crocheted syringe cover
Tanning bed
Razors
Terminator Underoos
Proactiv Solution
A tour of the BALCO facilites
Shaker cups
A signed [...]
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged amy winehouse, congress, HGH, lance armstrong, marion jones, roger clemens, steroids on February 14, 2008 | No Comments »
Earlier this week, a friend reminded me that back in the ‘old days’, steroid-assisted athletes who’d get slapped on the hand would be the ones who came in second place.
Or maybe they were good enough for the big-leagues, but they only made the practice team.
They were pawns and were therefore expendable.
Of course, the champions and [...]
Posted in Joe, Serious-talk, tagged exercise, nutrition, red wine on February 14, 2008 | No Comments »
Can I have a cheat day/cheat meal/cheat week?
What about a bag of chips/cookies/donuts as a post-workout meal?
Can 5 minutes on a treadmill/bike/cross trainer count as my workout for the day?
But I had to chase my kids/run around the office all day…
What about ‘diet’ cola?
I read that dark chocolate/red wine/cheese cake can be good for you
Any good training or nutrition [...]
Posted in Ha-ha, News, tagged bodybuilding on February 11, 2008 | 1 Comment »
As a one-time competitive powerlifter, bodybuilders can still be a frequent (and oh, so easy) target for me to write about.
But sometimes, even the vanity-driven, hairless and well-oiled ones find a way to do something positive worth mentioning.
This story shows that there may just be some functional/performance carry-over to posing in your underwear.
See? I can [...]
Posted in Humor, tagged breasts, duct tape, gravity, janet jackson, non-invasive on February 6, 2008 | No Comments »
Recently, I was asked if I knew of of any surgery-free ways to help “the girls” resist the downward tug of gravity.
Combining my years of experience in the fitness industry along with my appreciation of the female form (plus a hint of sarcasm), I ‘discovered’ there are, in fact, 3 highly effective, non-invasive techniques keep [...]
