Poetry In Motion
’twas the day ‘fore Christmas
and all through the gym
not a member was training
‘cept a guy they called “Slim”.
He hoisted the dumbbells
and lifted the bar;
His gym bag always ready
in the trunk of his car.
While ev’ry one else stayed home
to spend time with their loved ones,
Slim needed his daily iron fix
to maintain such massive “guns”.
He’d squat and he’d press;
And he’d grunt and he’d groan.
Pullups & deadlifts
kept Slim strong, lean and toned.
As you’re gulping down cookies
and watching sports on TV,
Realize guys (and gals) like Slim
take their fitness very seriously.
So before you complain
that you don’t have Slim’s genes,
Understand that he knows
what the fit-lifestyle really means.
Day in and day out
without a complaint,
Slim trains like a machine
and he eats like a saint.
Now his workout complet’d,
as he turned off the lights;
Slim knew he’d be back tomorrow;
to miss a workout is just not right.
Happy festivus, y’all… I’ll be back in 2008!
Bodybuilding Is NOT A Sport
Over at the Yahoo newsgroup, Supertraining, there’s a li’l discussion brewing over bodybuilding being classified as a sport. Here’s my position on the subject and I’m sticking to it…
If it’s played on a board (chess), while seated (race car driving) or on a computer/television screen (this means Wii), it’s a game in MY book.
Football, baseball, basketball and track & field require athletic skill and award predetermined points for completion of a specific task.
At the end of the contest, whichever team/individual has the most points, best time or distance wins.
That’s a sport.
But a contest alone does not make a sport. Cheerleading, figure skating, gymnastics and even “Dancing with the Stars” may require physical skill, preparation & dedication to excel, but the scoring process is much more subjective and inconsistent.
Just like a bikini contest, winners are determined by the personal preferences of a panel of judges.
Yes, they do require athletic skills and can be done in a competitive environment. But no – they’re not sports.
Powerlifting and Olympic lifting have elements of objectivity and subjectivity, so I s’pose the way one would categorize them would depend if they’ve ever been a cheerleader or a football player.
But getting back to bodybuilding… I’m calling it a hobby (albeit an extreme one) along with mountain climbing, scuba diving and bungee jumping.
Golf? Hmmmm…
Did You Ever Notice…
… when you play a Tae Bo video in slow-motion, it becomes Tai Chi?
… there are “gym rats” who can’t balance their checkbook, yet they can quickly add in increments of 2.5, 5, 10, 25 and 45?
… “cardio queens” won’t touch a barbell/dumbbell for fear of getting bulky, but as soon as you call it a “body bar” or “hand weight” and cover it with foam, they’ll fight over who gets the heaviest ones?
… runners will run for exercise, but they’ll seldom do exercises to help them run well?
… people with the best bodies wear sweatshirts and baggy pants in the gym while those who have the most room for improvement (how’s that for political correctness?) wear spandex shorts and tank tops?
$15,000 For WHAT?!?
Product Review: ROM QuickGym
Time is money, right? So how much would it be worth if you really could get an effective workout in only 4 minutes a day? The creators of the ROM QuickGym would like you to believe it’s worth over $15,000. A club in California (where else?) thinks it’s worth $40/month for a membership. On the other hand, the so-called “experts” will often discount it’s value simply by looking at it.
Who’s right? (by the end of this post, I will be – but I’m sure you already knew that)
First, we need to consider these important principles:
Specificity: If your goal is to get really good at doing 4 minutes of exercise on the ROM, then by all means, you need to train with the ROM.
Will it help you shoot better free throws? Make more tackles? Run a faster 5k?
No. Uh-uh and certainly not.
Progression:Once you adapt to your initial stressor(s), to make further adaptations, you need to do more and/or work at a higher intensity.
Variety: One of the arguments of the ROM is that it has a life-span of 30+ years. Therefore the “actual cost” is only $1.25 PLUS 4 minutes per day. This may be good in theory, but if you plan on doing the same activity/duration/relative intensity for 30+ years, there’s a good chance you’ll hit a plateau sometime in the first 6 months (if not sooner). So for much of the next 29.5 years, you’ll have to do something other than the ROM. This means you’ll still have the expense of $1.25/day to let the ROM sit there, in addition to whatever your other form(s) of exercise may cost.
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ROM’s Strengths:
Even the ThighMaster has a useful purpose - and because I like to think I’m a li’l smarter than the ”experts” ROM says “will feel threatened by such a perfect machine” (can it really put personal trainers out of business?) I’ll give ‘em the benefit of the doubt by focusing on its strengths first.
Tony Robbins owns one. So does Sly. Even Tom “top-gun” Cruise has one. The marketing DVD is packed with testimonials from various experts and “lay people”, all (presumably) first time users at a bodybuilding/trade show.
Upon completion of 4 minutes, when asked if they’ve ever experienced such a workout, everyone breathlessly agrees it’s the toughest workout they’ve ever done.
For the uninitiated, although BIG, bodybuilders aren’t typically recognized for their knowledge of training. Flip through an issue of Flex magazine and you’ll discover most of ‘em are still doing ever-so-slight variations of the workouts Arnie was doing back in the ’70s (plus a little chemical “help”, if you know what I mean).
Getting to the point, the greatest strength of the ROM Quick Gym is it’s marketing strategy. They do a fair job explaining why all the “experts” are wrong.
To their credit, while I was reviewing the ROM DVD, I did hear one of their “experts” admit that ‘the best exercise is the one you’ll do.’ If the ROM truly is better than any other form of exercise, it’s only because the price tag can be a strong motivator.
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ROM’s Weaknesses:
From what I can tell, the ROM is limited to a single dominant plane of movement (in the real-world, we move in all 3)
Plus, it separates the muscles of the upper body from the lower body. Ever try running with just your legs? Or how about walking with only your arms?
Like most machine-based exercise, the ROM is incredibly concentric dominant. While the ability to produce force is great, we also need the ability to reduce and stabilize forces.
And for $15,000, you could buy a cheap car and a weight set.
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Believe it or not, I would recommend this machine IF…
- You’re an actor in need a quick way to get that hot & sweaty look before shooting an action/love scene.
- You’re a bodybuilder preparing to go onstage and pose for the judges (of course you’ve spent countless hours doing “real” training up to this point).
- Space and time are both limited and you recognize that ‘something is better than nothing’ in the short term (as in a hotel stay).
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Bottom line:
Can the ROM QuickGym be a useful tool under the right circumstances? Sure, but those circumstances are limited.
If a person was currently doing NOTHING, would 4 intense minutes of SOMETHING cause something to change? Of course.
I’d rather deadlift, sprint or do push-ups for 4 minutes and save the 15 grand for shiny new car.
There’s A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever
I realize this post may appear a bit more ”soft-core” than usual, but it’s an article I originally wrote for a local ‘mainstream’ health/lifestyle magazine in Sept 2006. Enjoy!
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“There’s a fine line between stupid and clever”
- David St. Hubbins (played by Michael McKean)
from the movie, This is Spinal Tap
With the functional fitness craze going stronger than ever, I occasionally find it important to point out what should be fairly obvious:
When the risk of a “functional” exercise outweighs the benefits, you might want to consider using a different exercise to achieve the desired effect.
While the joke in the fitness biz is that if you ask 10 coaches or trainers to give you the best exercise program, you’ll get at least 15 different answers, all fitness pros will agree that for a client/athlete to get the most out of their training program, it would be much better to remain injury free.
I have to admit, I was shocked (and even disappointed) when I was in a popular local gym not too long ago and saw one of my peers standing on a stability ball! – yeah, that’s the big, inflatable sphere that has a tendency to roll all over the place when you’re trying to sit on it. It may be called a stability ball, but if you’ve ever used one, you’ll know it’s anything but stable.
Yes, I understand the logic behind training with an unstable surface, and whole-heartedly recommend everyone challenge their body’s ability to “stabilize” within reason – but c’mon already! Standing a couple feet above the floor, in between heavy iron weights (even HOLDING weights) while balancing on a ball is taking the concept of “functional” or “core” fitness to an incredibly risky level.
“Regular” people (read: the 99%+ of the population not in the fitness industry) are likely to see a fitness coach doing a risky movement and figure that’s what they, too, should be doing. Heck, if I saw my doctor smoking I’d be less likely to believe nicotine is really bad for me. I just hope nobody gets hurt as a result of this irresponsible display.
Since I do agree that it is important to challenge your stability as part of a well-designed training program, I’d be remiss if I didn’t provide safer alternatives to the “circus act” of standing on a ball.
Fitness program design is all about the use of appropriate progressions.
In general, start off as stable as you need to be, yet as unstable as you can safely perform an exercise. For some, this might mean standing on the floor with both feet and a shoulder-width stance. More advanced trainees could move their stance closer together, maybe even to the point of a single-leg stance. (a narrow base of support is tougher than it sounds!)
Still not challenging enough? There is a tool called the Bosu (the half-ball with a flat base you can find in most gyms these days) would be a much safer option. While I would always question the appropriate-ness of it (or any other training implement, for that matter) it does provide the same kind of instability as a fully round ball – BUT with much lower risk of injury by falling.
Airex pads (made with special closed-cell foam – it feels like standing on jell-o!) and dyna-discs (inflatable “pancakes”) can also provide more than enough of a “functional” challenge.
Want an even simpler progression to challenge your ability to stabilize in a “functional” environment? Try standing on one leg and closing your eyes while doing an exercise. If you think you might fall, quickly open your eyes and put both feet down. By effectively removing one of your five senses from an exercise forces you to rely more on what you feel (this is also called “Proprioception” – and provides the same effect as standing on the ball but without the unnecessary risk.
Just remember, challenging doesn’t have to mean high-risk. Train hard, but more importantly, train smart.
You Know You’re In A Powerlifting Gym When…
…the last guy left 405lbs on the bar and nobody complains.
…fights break out over the bar with the good knurling.
…no matter how much you can lift, you get respect for showing up.
…15 minutes rest between sets isn’t uncommon (that would explain the 3 hour workouts).
…you can insult, steal and lie, but don’t you dare misload a bar for another lifter – ever!
…it’s perfectly acceptable to vomit/bleed/crap all over yourself in the middle of a workout - as long as you finish your set.
…mirrors? for what?
-JS-
You Know You’re In A Bodybuilding Gym When…
…there are more mirrors than weights.
…you have to take a number to get a turn on the preacher-curl bench.
…management asks you to leave because you’re NOT wearing spandex.
…your monthly membership includes a bottle of Pro-Tan.
…the guy at the leg extension machine is eating tuna from a ziploc bag between sets.
…20″ biceps and a 22″ neck are always the result of “good genetics” and “hard training”.
-JS-
You Know You’re In For A Tough Day At The Gym When…
…you get out of breath carrying your gym bag from your car to the locker room.
-JS-
You Know You Had A Killer Workout When…
…you can’t get on or off the toilet without supporting yourself on both the towel rack and countertop.
Have anything to add? Feel free to comment.
-JS-
"Mighty" Joe Stankowski
