Become A ‘Two-Trick Pony’
If I could excel at only 2 exercises, they would have to be the deadlift and the T-pushup.
- Both can be done with minimal equipment.
- Both use a lot of energy-burning muscle.
- Both require your body to work together as a fine-tuned machine.
- Both strengthen the musculature of the “posterior chain”.
- Both challenge the body to produce, reduce and stabilize forces in all 3 planes of motion.
- Both have limitless progressions/regressions, making them excellent exercise choices for people of nearly any age or physical ability.
- Both require effort and concentration (aka: hard work) – therefore most ‘regular-folk’ won’t do ‘em. Instead, they’ll opt for countless situps and bicep curls – and have the body/performance to show for it.
To put it simply, these 2 exercises could easily be the foundation of any training plan for any goal.
To give you an idea ‘what can be done’, my former training partner, multi-world champion powerlifter Ed Coan, deadlifted over 900lbs at a bodyweight of 220.
And functional fitness guru Juan Carlos Santana (no, not the guitarist!) is said to have done multiple T-pushups with an 85lb dumbbell (yikes!).
As long as you have a single dumbbell and a li’l bit of floor space, you can do T-pushups. And even if you don’t have a gym membership or a fully stocked home gym, you can pick up a 300lb weight set (incl. bar) for about 100 bucks at most sporting goods stores (or you already know how to find ‘em even cheaper if you’ve read my home gym guide) and do deadlifts in a corner of your basement, garage or backyard.
While there is no ‘magic pill’ for weight loss, by tweaking the sets, reps, rest periods, frequency or any other variables, these two moves can become key ingredients to help you get bigger, badder, stronger, leaner or meaner.
Celebrities Spotted Hanging Around Cheap Motels
Fitness trends are cyclical, indeed.
This story about shaken (not stirred) mice is sure to set the fitness industry back a few years into it’s not-so-glorious “spot-reducing” past.
(Which reminds me, aren’t we due for some new research on how effectively the Thighmaster eliminates ‘the jiggle’ from inner thighs?)
It’s only a matter of time before some lazy arse with “M.D.” after his name transposes this shake-’em-up report into creative ways in which he can sell a worthless fitness program to desperate housewives across America.
Infomercial gadgets supporting this “new” way to exercise are certain to follow. When gyms start offering group vibration classes, I might just have to rethink my career choice and get involved in something with more credibility, such as selling used cars or becoming a member of the People’s Temple.
But why wait? You can drop your quarters into the box next to the bed at the No-tell Motel and after 15 minutes of vibrating good times, you’ll have a lean, firm mid-section.
Well, at least the rodents living in the mattress will have a nice six-pack.
Donny Osmond vs. David Lee Roth
I have a long and deeply troubled past.
My childhood hero was known for many things: his part in the Osmond Brothers, the hit single “Puppy Love” and later, Joseph and the Amazing Techicolor Dreamcoat.
Sure, it was many moons ago, but there was a time in my life where I wanted to be just like Donny Osmond – I even used to have a favorite pair of purple socks.
…ain’t nuthin’ stays the same
As the ’70s segued into the ’80s, I traded in my socks for Deep Purple albums, long hair and stone washed, tapered jeans.
It was at this time I discovered Van Halen.
My hero was no longer a teenage variety-show star from the Church of Latter Day Saints, but a hard-rocking front-man with an addiction to hairspray, spandex and women (not necessarily in that order, though).
When I wasn’t tearing “stylish” holes in my clothes or tying bandanas around my still developing limbs, I would jump from the sofa doing my best “Diamond Dave” impression while singing along with “Unchained”.
Maybe I could have chosen better role models. But even after Van Halen, Dave went on to have a (sort-of) successful solo career, a (mildly famous) Las Vegas lounge act and saved countless lives (???) as an EMT in New York City. And don’t forget his (short-lived) career as a talk-radio host. Plus, he’s currently touring with VH on a long awaited reunion tour. So why shouldn’t I continue to find inspiration in this aging (and balding) fellow from Bloomington, Indiana? That’s showbiz, baby!
As for Donny, I hear he’s been asked to host the reincarnation of “Name That Tune” sometime in the next year or so. Even though I can no longer deny wearing those purple socks so long ago, at least I can say my sister has never passed out on live television*.
Whew! It sure feels good to get that off my chest.
Now let’s deadlift…
*yet!
[PROfile:AC & RC] A Tale of Two Cosgroves
I don’t care what anybody says… as far as I’m concerned, Alwyn (rhymes with talon) Cosgrove‘s greatest contribution to the fitness industry (and possibly the world) was giving me my big break into the world of national fitness magazines – a short piece called “7 Minute Solution: The Bench Press” [Men's Fitness; May 2004] – which I gladly repaid with a pint of beer at a conference in Connecticut a couple years later – That makes us even, right?
On the other side of the fitness & matrimony coin, Rachel Cosgrove is certainly no “Dick Grayson” to Alwyn’s “Bruce Wayne“. No, Rachel is a top-caliber fitness industry Wonder Woman in her own right as you’re about to discover… Now if I can just remember to address her with a proper greeting when we bump into each other at conferences (Hi, Rachel :) )
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Ladies first…
Rachel is a morning person.
She wakes up at 6am and has her coffee and breakfast while checking email. She works out on a ‘normal’ schedule – about an hour a day most days.
She and Alwyn own a gym in Santa Clarita, CA which she manages full time. She has 10 employees working under her, so her day is usually spent working with the staff, developing new marketing ideas for the gym and chatting with clients.
But a few months ago, Rachel’s life was considerably different when she was training to complete her first Ironman. Most days were spent running, biking and swimming up to 20 hours a week (yikes!) .
She has been published in Women’s Health, Muscle and Fitness Hers, Men’s Fitness, Men’s Health and Oxygen. She has competed in Fitness competitions and triathlons and became an Ironman this past year. Rachel also coaches fitness & figure competitors and triathletes.
For more on the life and times of Rachel Cosgrove, visit her namesake website or the BRAND NEW site she’s working on (just remember, you heard it here first).
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William Wallace has nuthin’ on this Scotsman
A typical day in the life of Alwyn…
- Wake up
- Eat breakfast
- Check email
- Digest breakfast
- Get a workout (either in the weight room, the gym or in the back yard)
- Make the world a stronger, fitter, better place for all
Depending on the day, he may go into the gym and work with his staff of five trainers teaching them program design or some other topic. After that he’ll head back home to write articles, post to his blog or work on his website.
He is a featured writer for Men’s Health magazine and has a book published called The New Rules of Lifting (with Lou Schuler) with another one coming out in January called The New Rules of Lifting for Women.
Alwyn has also self published numerous books – most popular has been his Afterburn fat loss program.
But most of all, his real claim to fame is his Lift Strong project that has already raised close to $100,000 dollars toward research for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (not too shabby, huh?)
For more about AC (as those of us “in the loop” know him) stop by his website (and be sure to tell him you read about him at The Cup).
Note from Joe: if you haven’t already purchased a copy of LiftStrong do yourself a favor and buy it now. If you do have one – thank you – now go buy more copies and consider your Festivus shopping done for the year.
In The Beginning…
In the beginning, there were Megabytes. Lots of ‘em - strategically divided among host servers all around the world and The Internet was good.
…then along came Joe.
Since my bi-weekly e-newsletter was actually only being written a handful of times each year, my intent was simply to use a blog as a tool to get back to the habit of regular writing to reconnect with my “peeps”. But as things often do, this ‘practice field’ has taken on a life of its own.
On the first day, a blog title was born. Sprouting from nothing more than a creative seed wedged somewhere in my caffeine-soaked brain, MorningCupOfJoe.com took its first breath outside of my mental womb.
On the second day, I posted. My (occasional) grammatical errors, mis-spellings and incomplete thoughts were now immortalized in the blogosphere for all to see. Editors, sponsors and lawyers be damned, on March 13, 2007, I wrote what I wanted to write, the way I wanted to write it - and I still do.
On the third day, I discovered technorati. Blog ranking now had meaning. In a relatively short time, I categorized, tagged and keyword-optimized my way out of the blog-cellar up to a somewhat respectable rank. I even gained a ”fan-base” which appears to be growing daily.
On the fourth day, I switched from Blogger to WordPress. I gained the ability to create pages, view meaningful stats, use domain mapping and customize the header.
On the fifth day, I added widgets to The Cup. I gave ‘em funky coffee-flavored names in effort to stay consistent with the name of this blog. Ironic thing is I don’t even drink coffee (but if you put a Diet Coke within arms reach of me, I’ll down it before the first carbonation bubbles break the surface).
On the sixth day, I continued to develop my blogging style. In addition to (hopefully) providing you with something interesting/worthwhile to read, I also entertain myself with a multitude of educational moments, inside jokes and hidden messages which only I can decipher with the help of a secret decoder ring.
While it’s true that some may consider The Cup an inspirational marvel of writing along the lines of Shakespeare, Coleridge or Hemmingway (Earnest, not Mariel), I can only remain humble as I accept my role as a simple messenger of all-things-fitness.
On the seventh day, I rested. Even on the days I don’t actively post I’m still in creative mode, carrying my ever-faithful Panasonic voice recorder to capture the ideas and events that find their way into my life. I’ve learned that when I play them back, if I turn my head sideways and squint really hard while staring at my monitor, the posts often seem to magically write themselves.
Today, I write my 100th post. I’ll lift weights, eat meat and continue teaching others to the best of my ability how they can do the same in effort to reach their personal fitness and/or performance goals.
Tomorrow, I may still get around to sending out my e-newsletter again…
Thank you for making time in your busy day to read my wramblings, post your comments (whether you agree with me or not), suggest topics, link to The Cup and/or otherwise contribute to the ongoing growth and success of this li’l ol’ blog.
I <3 Meat
My name is Joe and I am an animal killer
I like to hunt.
I fish when I can.
I wear and use products derived from animals.
I eat meat.
When it is neither convenient nor cost effective for me to do so myself, I will gladly pay others for their animal killing and processing services.
Maybe it is murder by proxy, but nobody – including you – will make me feel the least bit guilty about it.
I guess it’s in my genes…
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For roughly 60 years, my grandfather (now in his mid-80s) has bred and raised dairy cows, nourished them and provided them with a warm, dry barn for shelter in return for their milk. He continues the process to this day, although one of my uncles has officially taken over farming operations.
My grandparents raised 12 children and would “decommission” a cow every year so the family would have something to eat. Of course, everyone drank the raw, unpasteurized milk their cows produced and they grew their own fruit and vegetables in the garden/orchard. There was a time when Grandma baked 6 loves of bread every day and canned/pickled/preserved anything she could get her hands on.
Enough About Grandma’s Bread. Let’s Get Back To The Cows…
Thanks to a special diet complete with individualized supplementation of minerals, Grandpa’s cows produce milk with high butterfat content – ideal for cheese production. The milk is sold to a local processing plant so you have something to melt on your pizza or put in your salad.
When I was 13 years old, I helped my grandpa butcher a cow on his farm. I vividly recall the moment when he reached into the dead cow’s mouth and said, “This is a tongue that’ll tell no more lies.” He cut it off and flung it into a bucket to be ground up with other parts.
Grandpa always had an odd sense of humor,
but he didn’t slaughter cows for fun.
When it was time to refill the freezer and a cow’s milk-producing days were done, my grandpa humanely put an end to his animal’s life behind the barn with a .22 caliber rifle shot to the head.
This is as “socially conscious” as it gets.
My grandfather, a WWII Navy veteran (Radioman First Class; 1942-46), knows it’s either eat or be eaten. He provided food for his offspring. And he taught them a valuable life-lesson in finding their own food when it was time to leave the nest (although some of my aunts & uncles find it easier to just go to the local supermarket).
Deny your birthright if you must, but it is the NATURAL order of things.
We Are Animals
Our mouths are filled with teeth which NATURE has provided for us to cut, tear and chew meat. (Mine are still 100% cavity free, by the way)
Our bodies NATURALLY produce enzymes which allow us to digest and assimilate the amino acids meat delivers in such a tasty package.
Since we’re not fast like a cheetah or strong like a bear (well, I am, but I’ve never been one to brag), we have to ‘outsmart’ our prey…
Which brings us to the present-day meat production industry
In an effort to balance environmental responsibility while also producing enough food for the public at large, animals are selected, herded into feedlots and their meat is systematically processed and distributed so people have something to put on their plate when they get home from work.
My grandfather only did this once every year or so for his own family. If you would prefer to kill and process your own food, maybe we wouldn’t need such intensive farming/slaughtering techniques as can be found in the Alec Baldwin-hosted PETA propaganda videos making the email/YouTube rounds.
Maybe it’s not exactly fun to watch.
Maybe it’s not something you personally want to do.
Maybe it’s unfortunate and tragic that we live in a country of 300 million+ people – each with the NATURAL ability and right to consume the very foods we, as a species, have been eating since we crawled away from the primordial ooze and found our way to the top of the food chain.
But until someone comes up with a better way to provide affordable, palatable and NATURAL meat to the masses, you’ll just have to understand our current systems of meat production are a “necessary evil”.
Would you rather eat a steak that lived and died “unhappy” or would you prefer to be sick and malnourished while surviving on ”organic” salads as the animal population spirals out of control?
I choose the former.
This is what human animals do to ensure survival of our species.
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Meat: The Ultimate Renewable Resource
Modern farming is more than a potted tomato plant on your balcony. Numbers are carefully monitored and adjusted to be sure demand doesn’t overtake supply. Unless you’re willing to pay $100 a pound for your 96% lean ground beef from cattle raised at Club Med, you have to accept that farming science – like ANY science – requires time and resources to progress.
If you want to eat like a rabbit for personal/religious/health reasons, go ahead. I have no problem with your choice. That just leaves more meat for me.
But if you reject meat for purely “social’ reasons (read: to impress your friends), rather than throw away money for such an un-natural “cause“, wouldn’t it make more sense to donate to research programs investigating farming methods that meet your standards?
Life can be cruel and unfair. But are there not enough injustices in the world that people really have to make “the rights” of an animal such a priority?
Until animals come up with a meaningful way to contribute to society and pay taxes, I’m willing to accept their meat and hides as payment.
The Free-Range Argument
You think rush hour traffic is bad now? Imagine what would happen if we just let cows, pigs and chickens run completely wild and free.
Given the finite amount of farm land and a human population that continues to breed and expand, the only feasible option is to contain and monitor livestock in a controlled environment.
It’s not only good for us, but one might even argue that it protects the animals from other predators that are even more hungry and eager to kill than we are.
Hunt Or Be Hunted
When it comes down to it, we are all food. Whether anyone likes it or not, I will continue to eat, wear and enjoy all the creature comforts animals provide.
-JS-
P.S. I am also an organ donor (It’s on my driver’s license – I haven’t actually given anything away yet). When my time comes to an end, if you want to take my hard-earned muscle tissue and make burgers out of me in order to save a cow, go ahead. Until then, all you meat-sympathizers can kiss my flank steak.
P.P.S. For you ‘old-timers’ who are scratching your heads wondering what the hell “<3″ means in the title of this post, carefully turn your monitor counter-clockwise 90 degrees and the emoticon should become clear :-)
[PROfile:Sean Hyson] Walking The Walk And Writing The Talk
When thinking of fitness-industry “rock stars” to feature in The Cup, one of the first names to pop into my mind was none other than Sean Hyson. He’s the guy responsible for mining nuggets of fitness wisdom from knuckleheads like me and melting it down to a readable format which also fits the space requirements of a printed magazine.
Plus, he’s a good guy to know when you’re looking for someone to choke down a pastrami on rye with ya’!
So let’s all put our hands together and give a warm Morning Cup Of Joe welcome to Mr. Sean Hyson… (insert crowd noise here)
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Best known as… Fitness editor of Men’s Fitness magazine and Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist (C.S.C.S.). Former fitness editor of Sly (now defunct) and Muscle&Fitness Hers magazines.
[JS: I should note, Sean does some killer impressions, too...his Arnold Schwarzenegger and Christopher Walken are second to none!]
Name dropping… “The best thing about my job is the fact that it enables me to correspond and even form friendships with some of the best trainers/strength coaches in the world. I’d count Alwyn Cosgrove, Cameron McGarr, Jason Ferruggia, Zach Even-Esh, and many other top fitness pros as friends. Wait, I feel like I’m leaving somebody out… Oh, yeah, my ol’ buddy Joe Stankowski!”
[JS: Joe Sha-what-ski? Who ‘dat?]
A day in the life… “A typical day for me involves waking up at 7:00, drinking some green tea, eating a bowl of oatmeal, and hitting the gym. After I’m done putting Arnold to shame, I pause Olivia Newton-John’s “Physical” on my iPod and change out of my headband and legwarmers and head to the office.
“Over the course of the day I will call and e-mail back and forth with various trainers, asking them for exercise tips I can use in stories (and, admittedly, my own workouts), write those tips up into articles, and worry about whether soy or whey protein should be in my next shake.
“Of course, I’ve also been known to call Joe in the middle of a work day and break into song, replacing the lyrics to classic rock tunes with poetry about Joe’s life and abilities as a trainer. But seriously, Joe is one of the smartest guys I’ve met in the field, and that’s why you can read his advice on a regular basis in MF.”
[JS: All of a sudden, I'm feeling a little verklempt. Obviously, Sean knows what he's talking about. Now talk amongst yourselves... Do I really need to give you a topic?]
This Is What A Diet Of Potatoes, Corn and Llama Meat Will Do For You…
From the culture that introduced the world to quipu, Machu Picchu and a tasty performance enhancing substance long before home-runs mattered, this story about child sacrifice and bad haircuts might make you reconsider before pulling out your wallet in the fast food window drive-thru lane…
Circumcision, Necrophiliac Porn and a Cat Fetish
Regular readers of The Cup may have noticed an uncharacteristically long gap between posts. First-timers are probably wondering what the hell they’ve gotten themselves into.
While it was long before the advent of blogging, perhaps the best piece of advice I ever got was “If it don’t fit, don’t force it“.
(Get your mind out of the gutter, will ya’? Many years ago, I had a job as a stationary engineer at the University of Chicago [that story is a post for another day] and the advice was given to me regarding the correct way to repack a gate valve, but I digress…)
Over the past week or so, I’ve been tossing ideas around for your continued reading (and my writing) enjoyment. Some of ‘em were okay at best. Others met a quick death. It’s not what I’d call writer’s block, I just wasn’t excited about any of ‘em enough to sit down and type ‘em out.
Of course, I always welcome ideas and thoughts other than my own, so my friends and clients often come up with some really inspiring concepts – many of which have mutated into the ramblings which lay here before you.
Aware of my ongoing ‘war‘ with Leigh Peele, one friend suggested the title, “I’m Uncircumcised and Sleep With Dead Cats“ (At least I’m hoping it was a blog suggestion and not a desperate cry for help.) Besides, I’m not sure what it has to do with anything fitness-related, so I left that one on the back-burner… ’til today ;-)
As I learned about packing valves in my former life, forcing an issue doesn’t usually give the best results – which explains my self-imposed break from blogging.
Fast forward to today’s take home message in the form of a couple of the more (for lack of a better word) interesting life lessons I’ve learned.
Damn you, Count Dracula – When I was about 4 years old, I watched an episode of Sesame Street when the ‘number of the day’ was 3. Somehow this number sparked a burning question in my mind, so I was compelled to ask my father if 3 seconds was a long time.
He said, “It depends.”
Being the curious li’l guy that I was, I couldn’t resist following up with a “what d’ya mean?”
Apparently not one for philosophical discussion, I was hoisted off the floor by my ears while ol’ dad slowly counted out, “one…two…three…” and then put me back on my feet. This time he asked me if 3 seconds is a long time.
My answer: “It depends!”
This is how I came to understand the theory of relativity.
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Ahhh… NOW I Get It!!! - Once during college football practice, I dislocated all 3 joints of my middle finger. The athletic trainer quickly straightened things out, taped my discombobulated digit and sent me back into practice. At the end of the day, I asked him if there was anything I can do to strengthen my finger so this doesn’t become a recurring issue. His advice: Soak it in cider…
As every wild salmon instinctively knows it must fight the current to return to the place of its birth where nature’s cycle can be made complete, the mind always finds its way back to the gutter…
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"Mighty" Joe Stankowski
