[PRO-file:Lou Schuler] Who’s Hungry For Some Blog Meat?
Anxiously anticipating my 100th post at THE CUP sometime in the next several days, I’m starting this week off by throwing a li’l party. And YOU, John (and Jane) Q. Reader are invited.
Ok, so maybe 100 posts doesn’t mean much to any hard-core bloggers any more than a 135lb squat would impress a gym rat . I just needed an excuse to launch the first in a brand new series I’m adding to THE CUP.
I thought about naming it “Blogs, blogging and the bloggers who blog“.
But to keep things clean, simple and all professional-like, I’ll just call it PRO-file.
Leading off this feature is not just a man, but THE man who brought the concept of ‘blog meat’ to the world…
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If your local community college offered the course Lou Schuler 101, here’s what you’d learn:
Lou’s Books: The New Rules of Lifting, The Book of Muscle, Home Workout Bible, The Testosterone Advantage Plan
Lou’s Blog: MalePatternFitness.com
Lou’s On-line Home: LouSchuler.com
Star Power:“I’ve written books with Alwyn Cosgrove, Cassandra Forsythe, Ian King, Mike Mejia, Jeff Volek, and Adam Campbell. I’ve edited books written by Mark Verstegen, Chad Waterbury, Ryan Lee, and TC Luoma.
“I was a waiter at a five-star hotel in Los Angeles in the mid-1980s, and I brought food to just about everybody who was famous back then.
“Given a choice, I’d rather hang out with fitness folks, famous or otherwise.”
(You and me both, Lou.)
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Now is the time on PRO-file vhen ve get our “Lou on…”
Lou on editing:“‘Edit’ is a very flexible term in publishing; when I “edited” a magazine article, it often meant I rewrote it from first word to last. Editing TC’s book, on the other hand, involved reading through it once, and fixing some commas.”
Lou on fitness:“I used to get involved in food fights over fat vs. carbs and the benefits of protein, and sometimes I’d get into debates over whether endurance exercise is important or necessary.”
SIDEBAR: Lou’s best article on the subject, “Death by Exercise,” was part of a package of stories that won the 2004 National Magazine Award in the “Personal Service” category.
“The longer I write about exercise and nutrition, though, the less I want to engage in those kinds of debates. The best type of exercise is whatever you’ll actually do. Since most people don’t exercise enough to get any kind of physiological benefit, I decided I don’t want to be the guy who tells them they should do one thing instead of the other. Just do something.
“Doing ‘a lot‘ of something is usually better than doing ‘a little,’ but I don’t think anything beats consistency and enjoyment.”
Lou on life after magazines: “People are usually surprised when I tell them I no longer write magazine articles. (When the subject comes up, I mean; it’s not like I walk up to strangers and explain my career path.) I haven’t taken an assignment in two years, which is about the time I discovered that not writing for magazines does more to spread happiness than anything else I’ve tried.
“I’m happier, my family’s happier, and I assume the editors who used to work with me are happier. It’s cheaper than Prozac and more effective than therapy, and the main lesson applies to just about any type of endeavor: If you don’t go looking for work that you know will drive you nuts, you won’t be driven nuts by your work.”
Lou on blogging: “I try to post something substantial on my blog every weekday. On a good day, I can do that by 10 a.m. On a bad day, it goes past noon. I enjoy it, but I try to keep in mind that nobody’s paying me to do it.”
Lou on family: “Weeknights are a logistical challenge. We have three kids, and they have to be somewhere five nights out of five. Our two daughters have soccer practices on four different nights, plus soccer games on Saturdays that are often at the same time, but on fields that could be an hour away from each other. Then there’s piano, Girl Scouts, parent-teacher conferences at two different schools…
“I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t all sedentary stuff – sitting in a chair, watching the kids run around. But that’s modern parenting, and I can’t deny that I signed up for the full package three times over.”
Lou on the past: “I recently finished editing [a] book that comes out later this year”
Lou on the present: “Right now, I’m waiting to do the final read of The New Rules of Lifting for Women before it goes to press.”
Release date is December 27, but it’s never too early to pre-order!
Lou on the future: “I recently started working on a new proposal, which is a months-long process and I’m about to start ghost-writing another. My agent will soon send out a proposal for a new book, if he hasn’t already. And yet another project is waiting for a publisher to point a thumb up or down.”
Claim to fame: “A point of pride is that I haven’t pissed off everybody who’s ever met me. I consider that a real triumph of behavior modification.”
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A big thank you to Lou Schuler for sharing his “New Rules Of Living” with all of us here at THE CUP.
-JS-
America Forfeits World War II
Turns out Floyd Landis lost his case and has to forfeit his 2006 Tour de France title.
He claims he didn’t use banned performance enhancing drugs while the tests supposedly say otherwise.
We’re really only talking about riding a bike over some hills, right?
When it comes down to it, only Floyd knows the truth. If he’s honest with himself and didn’t break any rules of the competition, title or not, he still won.
Even if he loaded up on every form of testosterone, growth hormone and all the cans of Red Bull he could find, fact of the matter is, he still came in first place when it counted.
Seems to me that sports are a lot like war: You do what you have to do to win.
I’m So Happy I Was Born Without A Uterus
It should come as no surprise when I say I will never understand women.
Fortunately, I do have estrogen-dominant friends who are willing to explain things to me in real simple terms.
What you’re about to read is a REAL letter from a REAL person. I got her permission to post it here at The Cup as long as I keep her identity under wraps (you never know when someone may decide to shift gears and make the jump into politics).
I added the links within the text where I thought it might be useful/informative or in some way add to the entertainment value of this already humorous story, but don’t let ‘em distract you.
Ladies, enjoy. Guys, let’s see if we can’t learn something here.
(I’ll comment again at the end of her letter)
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Joe-
I thought of your blog while being stalked at the gym today.
I began my workout and noticed a strange man watching me, so I ignored him and went to a different area of the gym.
He followed.
After having him pace around me while doing standing straight bar curls and nearly bumping into me a few times, I again left to find a new area.
I found a nice secluded corner of the gym to do a few sets, and you guessed it, he followed me again!
I made one last effort for seclusion, because as you know, I want my space.
So I set up an area for a little circuit. I was doing isolated dumbbell curls, pushups and abs.
After my pushups I walked out to a different area to do an ab exercise and guess who jumped onto my bench I was working out on.
“The stalker”.
Now mind you, there were 4 other open benches and only 2 other people in an area that is 30′x30′. But no, he had to jump right into my space.
As I approached him with the “Get the &^*&)* off my bench” look he responded with a cheesy ‘hey baby’ smile.
Are you kidding me?
This dope was trying to hit on me by interrupting my workout!
After I got done laughing to myself about the absurdity of thinking interrupting ones workout is the best way to make an introduction, I went back to reclaim my space.
I sat back down on my bench, started lifting and the 2007 Darwin award winner sat next to me and said “Hi, I’m Bob” and started lifting a weight lighter than mine.
I finished my set, looked at this guy and said “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
He stood up and walked away whispering “bitch” under his breath.
I was speechless. (mainly because I prefer to be addressed as ”Queen Bitch”)
I think this guy missed a few behavioral clues that would have saved us both some time……
1. Hat, headphones and sweat mean don’t bother me
2. Fiddling with my iPOD means don’t talk to me
3. Never stopping between sets to sit and gaze at oneself in the mirror means don’t interrupt me….go away!
4. The fact I was wearing less spandex than him should have been a big clue that I was obviously not in his league
5. The fact he lifted less weight than me should have been a clue he was not in my league
6. And, lastly according your recent post, “Will You Stop Staring At Me?”, the fact that I don’t make eye contact means I am not attracted to you!
I am not sure I will ever adapt to the health-club pick-up mentality.
Doesn’t anyone remember the old days where respect was earned and given as the 1st phase of gym-relationships?
Of course, the 2nd phase would involve peeking thru the hole in the wall near the showers to determine if you should actually ask them out!
(Name and location withheld by request)
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Ok, it’s me, Joe, again.
Well, fellas… did we learn anything today? Do the women have anything to add?
And like I said in the beginning, the odds are that I will never understand women but even I am smart enough to steer clear of women that wear less spandex in the gym than I do – hehe!
In The Land Of The Blind, The One-Eyed Man Is King
I went to the gym yesterday to squeeze in a couple games of racquetball with my friend Eric.
He was late as usual (presumably had something to do with the Fed’s 1/2 point rate cut), so as I was patiently waiting outside our court, I noticed something odd in the bottom corner of the “Court 1″ sign. It was braille.
Don’t get me wrong here. I get the whole “I’m not handicapped, I’m handi-capable” thing and I’m certainly not suggesting physically-impaired people can’t enjoy - or even excel at - anything they want to. I’m sure there are plenty of blind people that can play racquetball better than Eric!
Fact is, my polio-stricken grandfather spent the better part of his life in a wheel chair (he always called it his ”Cadillac”). While to the best of my knowledge he wasn’t athletic in a sports-sense, I never once heard him use his ‘caddy’ as an excuse for not being able to do something.
That taught me a lot.
When I was a kid, I even had such a fascination with blindness that I’d often come home from school and cover my eyes with a bandana just to ‘get a feel’ for what it must be like to function without one of my five senses. I’d see how long I could deal with sensory deprivation. I would usually last right up to the time when the commercials on MTV ended and the videos started playing again.
Of course, I was hoping that my visionless experiment would also allow me develop a super-natural sense of hearing to compensate, but I suspect my love of LOUD heavy metal completely wiped out any “super-sense” I might have gained.
Back to yesterday… I just really wanted to understand why the gym would add braille to a racquetball court sign – a sport, which as far as I’m aware requires the ability to see.
Is it a warning intended to minimize those rare, but very preventable accidents you fear you may one day see on the evening news?
…And don’t tell me you don’t lie awake at night with the nightmare that sometime, somewhere (Probably Idaho. Or maybe Arkansas.) - a seeing-eye dog turns to the dark side and leads his owner straight into the middle of a racquetball tournament where all hell breaks loose… arrghhhh, somebody please pinch me and tell me this is just a dream…
Or is it more likely that this is yet another patronizing example of “Equal Opportunity” and “Fairness for all”? If the politically correct continue to reach too far away from the ladder of reasonable thinking, sooner or later they will certainly take a tumble.
Anyway, Eric finally showed up and I – “the jock” – naturally assume an easy cruise to victory whenever playing against a 40-something financial advisor (wouldn’t YOU?).
I discovered that even investment-junkies have their day in the sun once in awhile. I got beat soundly and the racquetball gods have clearly spoken. Next time, I’ll pay more attention to the game and less on the sign outside the door.
Good game, Eric. See ya’ at the gym again real soon.
Will You Please Stop Staring At Me?!
Maybe it has nothing to do with my choice of footwear afterall.
Could a new report from livescience.com explain why I get the feeling I’m always being watched?
I’m never been one to gamble, but my money stays on the shoes.
Feed The War
Perhaps the most ironic twist of fate ever, the very downfall of our society might just be the powerful weapon we need to enlist to finally end the war in Iraq.
The solution is suprisingly simple and can be summed up in only two words: Fast food.
Now hear me out. I’ve thought this through for at least 15 minutes and I know it can work.
What if the “Big 3″ – Burger King, McDonalds and Taco Bell - would join forces and ‘sponsor’ this war? They could give support to US and allied troops by providing nutrient-void meals to the insurgents and terrorists in the region. (And if they’d like to send a few month’s worth of ‘rations’ to Nancy Pelosi while they’re at it – I’d even be happy to pay for her first week of ”value meals”).
Children in America would have a chance to get healthy again as the billions of marketing dollars which are currently spent to lead them down the road of deep-fried bliss would be diverted to a more meaningful cause.
The burden of cost would be shifted to fast food junkies here in the USA - but the good news is you can still get your meal biggie-sized for only a quarter more.
I realize it’s not an instant death for those members of the axis of evil, but by the end of the first month of an all-American diet, they’ll be so run down and lethargic, we could leave just a handful of “peacekeeping” troops in the region to shoot McFish in a barrel.
It’s a “green” solution, too!
When we’re finished in the Mid-East, our fast food sponsors can then ship the used cooking oil to North Korea where Kim Jong Il will surely recycle it to power his shiny new biodiesel generator.
Freedom is never free… but you do get a very nice toy with every kids meal.
Hillary Rodham Clinton Breaks World Bench Press Record?
One of my fitness industry peers and current blogger of the month over at JPfitness – a month after The Cup wore the crown, I should note – fitness vixen Leigh Peele has thrown down the gauntlet, drawn a line in the sand, went “nah-nah-na-boo-boo” and slapped me right across my (virtual) face by challenging me to a little game of who-can-create-the-best-blog-titles.
Let’s Get Ready to RUMMMMMMMMBLE…
Of course, this game is simply a light hearted exercise in creating compelling headlines and content for our respective blogs in effort to broaden our readership and entertain the masses. But being the competitive sumun-nuhbitch that I am, I’m not about to take this challenge sitting down.
Let’s see what’cha got, Miss Peele.
-JS-
PS> I know what they say about ‘the bigger they are…’, but don’t forget: the smaller they are, the farther they fly ;-)
Wish I’d Thought Of That!
While my personal and professional opinions of commercial gyms is fairly well-documented (starting with my chapter in The Power Of Champions), perhaps my friend and fellow MF-er Jason Ferrugia says it best in this post.
See also:
Why I prefer to train at home
My experience at the YMCA
Porn Stars and Armadillos
You do have some experience lifting weights, don’t you?
(here’s the part where you say ‘Yes, Joe. Of course I do.’)
Great! Then you probably know exactly what I’m talking about when I refer to ”porn star ass” and “armadillo back”.
(“Did he really just say ‘porn star ass’?”)
Don’t Worry, I Got Your Back
Seated and bent rows, stiff legged deadlifts and many other exercises challenge the postural muscles of your back and can be dangerous if not performed without attention to form.
When talking shop with my peers, I have no problem speaking in terms of anterior pelvic tilt/contra-lateral reach/terminal hip extension and so on, but for “regular” people (eg: my typical clients, models at photo shoots, etc), I find it much easier to get my point across by using (ahem) “common language”.
Today, I’d like to introduce you to two of my favorite ”cues”: Armadillo back and porn star ass.
Both are terms I’d use to help a client find “neutral spine”, and are at extreme opposite ends of the curve, so to speak.
Armadillo back could also be referred to as ‘halloween cat’ (a seasonal variation I like to use in October) and is characterized by an excessive rounding of the spine.
On the other side of the coin, we have the very classy porn star ass. It’s easily recognizable by the increased arch of the lower back and a little-too-much-backside sticking out (this is a sassy little combination of ’anterior pelvic tilt and lumbar extension’ if you’re really interested).
I don’t think there are many armadillos capable of reading this blog, but if you do happen to be a porn star (or are an armadillo listening to a podcast version of this post), you probably shouldn’t spend too much time worrying about back problems due to frequent repetition of your respective spinal positions. We love you just the way you are.
The real risk of injury increases when you start loading the movement and/or add in too much rotation.
Neutral spine is somewhere in between the two extremes. You can (and should be able to) locate it from any position. If you have too much armadillo, shift toward porn star – and vice versa.
Isn’t fitness fun?
America Gets Shafted
How can the USA expect to maintain it’s status as the lone global superpower when we don’t even have an appropriately named exercise to show our superiority in the weight room?
You may see why this is troubling to me when you consider the following list of ‘national exercises’:
Romanian deadlifts
Turkish get-ups
Bulgarian split-squats
Roman chair sit-ups
Russian twists
French press
Cuban press
Chek press (yes, I realize it’s named for Paul Chek and not the Czech Republic, but just work with me, will ya? Some of us have blogs to write.)
The cold war has been over for awhile and I can tolerate Russia having their own movement… but the French? Why can’t they be satisfied with toast, dressing, fries and kissing?
I’ve traveled through much of France and from what I observed, pumping iron isn’t a part of their cultural makeup. If there’s a way to take a resistance-based exercise away from them, I’m all for it. Maybe a quick call to the United Nations will clear things up.
Ok, now back to our own problem for a minute… I’d like to nominate the classic, All-American pushup as our country’s namesake movement. My backup choices are the power clean and the military press.
Maybe readers o’ The Cup have their own suggestions for an (un)official American exercise?
Have some pride, people. Let’s show the French what we’re made of!
Cast your vote by leaving a comment below.
An Open Letter To Britney Spears
10 Sept 2007
Dear Ms. Spears,
Regardless of the mass-media’s critical reviews of your performance/appearance at last night’s VMA awards, I’d like to congratulate you for returning to the stage after (what I’d assume to be) a very challenging time in your personal life.
In the interest of full disclosure, I should probably tell you now that I’m not your biggest fan. Please don’t take this personally, though. The fact is, my musical taste is more along the lines of Iron Maiden, Ozzy and Megadeth (though I will admit Toxic is one of my guilty pleasures!).
Now I’ll get right to the point: I don’t know who, if anyone, you’re currently working with, but if you want help getting your body back, I’d like to help you.
I’m not interested in tabloid drama, relationship gossip, your hairstyle or how you raise your children. As long as it’s not me, I don’t particularly care who you clobber with an umbrella. My only interest is in giving you a body you’re happy with - on stage and off.
Please understand this is not an offering of my services for free - and I’m certainly not cheap, even by Hollywood standards. I’d put you through the same application process I would any other client – and I should warn you that many people can’t even make it past my first ‘assignment’.
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume we can get to the point where we agree to work together - As long as you’re willing to give me 110% effort, I see no reason you can’t have a “Greatest Hits…” body again, and in a surprisingly short time – but if at any time I get the sense you’re no longer committed to your training program, I’ll have no problem walking away.
My offer to help is on the table. If you’re interested in talking, have your people contact me and we’ll set up a time for your intake interview.
Regards,
-JS-
Joe Stankowski
Men’s Fitness training adviser
Co-Author of “The Power of Champions”
IDEA Master Fitness Trainer
I Ain’t ‘fraid Of No Fat
By now, you’ve probably heard how fish oil/EFA supplementation protects you from everything from heart disease to cancer to cold sores to hang nails and even the black plague so I won’t bother to redesign the wheel.
But… one question I’m often asked is “how much”.
If you read the label on most of these wonder-supps, it’ll probably say “1-2 capsules daily” or something to that effect. I’ve also found that most of these healthy fats come in potencies ranging from 750 to 1000mg.
There are the guys who clutch their clipboards as they sit around the office in white lab coats who really study this stuff. You’ll often find them engaged in light banter, discussing the finer details of the tricarboxylic cycle and making jokes about how the “dolts on the outside” don’t understand metabolic pathways, yet even they can’t come to a clear answer on how much is enough.
I’m not one of them. [Far from it, in fact ;)]
But I do still have my own personal and professional interest in the matter of supplementation, especially when it comes to dietary fats.
The latest research/reports I’ve seen recommend anything from 3 to 12 grams of fish oil a day.
So to answer the “how much fish oil” question – not from a pure scientific standpoint, mind you, but from what I consider a much more practical approach - I’ll tell ya’ what I do and let you take it from there…
First (and perhaps most importantly) I don’t take fish oil – or any other supplement for that matter – with expectations of a ‘miracle cure’.
Supplements are just that: supplements. Not substitutes. Not medications. It’s simply a little “insurance” against any deficiencies your already healthy diet might have.
Now if I lived in an igloo and ate salmon 3 times a day, I probably wouldn’t need to supplement with fish oil. But since I live/work/travel in the continental USA, I have the same food choices common throughout much of the western world. By this, I mean saturated fat is all too easy to get.
Have you ever seen a big chicken?
I eat beef. I chose lean cuts whenever possible. Rather than freak out about my fat intake everytime a hamburger comes within reach, I simply balance (do not underestimate that word!) my dietary fats with poly and monounsaturated fats through EFAs, nuts, etc…
So if it’s a day of higher saturated fat intake, I just aim for the higher end of fish-oil intake the lab-geeks are currently recommending (10-12g).
If it’s an extremely lean day of eating (yes, I have those, too), I’d stay closer to the low end (3-5g).
On most days I’m in the 6-9g range, always divided over 3 or 4 ‘doses’.
Remember, health and fitness is all about balance. It really doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.
Now who you gonna’ call?
See also:
Prograde Supplement’s EFA Icon
Bad Boys, Bad Boys… What’cha Gonna Do?
More creative (and true) ways in which snack foods can hurt you…
1) I still remember the time when my mother reached over the breakfast table to smack me across the nose with a 2-pack of pop-tarts, but what must life in Iowa be like that this story about a ”snack attack” makes headlines?
I’m not sure what the statute of limitations is on assault with processed/packaged snack foods, but mom, if the police come busting through your door followed by a film crew for “Cops“, don’t say I didn’t warn you…
2) Even if you only enjoy the smell of hot, buttery popcorn, the fumes alone can apparently create a condition known as “popcorn lung“.
Maybe this is just another one of those top-secret govenment conspriacies to gain control over a certain population of teenage movie-goers, but just like the whole “crack in ‘da hood” thing, this, too, will surely sprial out of control.
I can see it now… movie theaters will try to pacify non-popcorn eaters by creating a separate “non-popcorn” section, but of course, they’ll have to walk past the butter fumes to get there, leading to verbal – even physical confrontation – and a clear line will be drawn between users (called “poppies”) and non-users.
Within a couple years, popcorn lobbyists will swarm DC, followed by class action lawsuits resulting in large sums of money put into state programs to help control the popcorn habit. You’ll see billboards and rubber bracelets with all kinds of catchy slogans ["Stop before you pop", "Butter isn't better"]; presidential candidates will deny ever inhaling the butter smell; there will be surgeon general warnings on the side of popcorn bags; a minimum age of 18 to purchase and adults getting busted for buying popcorn for underage ‘poppies’.
Now would someone please pass the salt?
End Of Summer Blues (in A minor)
If yo’ tir’d of being outta shape, p’haps you’ve had too much time at the beach?
Said if yo’ tir’d of being outta shape, p’haps you’ve had too much time at the beach…
There’s still time to git fit ‘fore the holidays,
you know it’s never outta’ reach.
Put your white pants in the closet ’til the next Mem’rial Day
Gotta put yo’ white pants back in the closet, ’til next Mem’rial Day
Don’t wanna see ya’ be a fashion victim,
Even I know there’s no white pants after Labor Day.
Summer’s ‘ficially over, no more goin’ down the shore
Well, summer’s ‘ficially over, ain’t no more goin’ down the sho’
If you think you’re gonna’ kick sand in my face,
I won’t be hangin’ at the beach no mo’ – not ’til next year anyway… now G’ITar!
(guitar solo/outro)
[spoken:] Now you have time to deadlift… the bar is loaded.
Your last excuse just got on the school bus… (fade out)
"Mighty" Joe Stankowski
